You're Dead To Me || ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴜᴛꜱɪᴅᴇʀꜱ

Keep A Leash

Steve Randle...
We're out in the vacant lot and I'm goofing off too much. "Sorry, Soda. Am I annoying you? Sorry, sorry. Am I annoying you? Is this bothering?" I repeatedly ask, he turns away and doesn't even look at me.

"This is why you've been single forever, Steve." Two-Bit chimes in. "Uh," my jaw slightly drops. "Erm, at least I'm not, well," I struggle to find a comeback until Darry interrupts.

"Steve Randle, you're bein' too much now." I scoff, "OK, Darrel Curtis!" Is all I say because I know Darry could kick my butt if he wanted to.

We start walking toward the neighborhood but I can't keep my mouth shut. "Soda, you told me Sandy left you. Are you sad?" I ask without thinking. I haven't been drinking but I'm loopy. I guess I ate too much chocolate cake, sugar can do things to me. "Shut up, Steve." Soda responds.

"Well, are you?" Two-bit asks out of nowhere. "Yeah, but I don't wanna talk about it right now." Soda huffs and Two-Bit puts his hands up, signaling he had no intention of getting into Soda's business. "Gee, my bad."

"Eh, I forgive you since you're my friend." Soda turns to Two-Bit and gives him a friendly smile which he returns. My mouth falls agape. It strikes a nerve.

Soda hasn't been looking at me all evening, let alone smile! He didn't bother to make eye contact unless he was being hard on me. Why is he like this? Why now?

"What?" I can't even hide my jealousy in my scoff. "I was just trying to see how much I could get away with. Glory, Soda. Why?" I'm not exactly sure what I'm even asking. Why? Why does he refuse to smile at me, his best friend, then has the audacity to be friendly with Two-Bit?

I am Randle's inflamed sense of rejection.

"I didn't know it was that deep!" I exclaim. "Are you on something, Steve? Or is it just sugar, like how it usually is?" Two-Bit asks.

"Shut up, Keith." I use his real name for the first time which makes him falter in his tracks. Some of The Gang have forgotten Two-Bit's actual name. I didn't, I just humored him. I wonder if I look dumber than I really am. Or maybe I'm just immature.

"Don't do that again," Two-Bit cringes. "Do what, Keith Matthews? Keep calling ya Keith Matthews?" I get up closer to him as I tease him. But it's not in a real playful or fun way anymore, no. I mean, I didn't have any harmful intentions. I think.

"It's weird, I don't like you using my name like that. Nobody does that. I wouldn't have expected you out of all people, besides my parents, to ever use my name like that." He clears up.

"Soda, get a leash for your dog." I tell him, referring to Two-Bit. Or should I keep saying Keith? Doesn't really matter because Soda done slapped me so hard that I began to see stars. Yup, that's gonna leave a mark. Maybe even a dent.

"I've had it up to here with your shenanigans!" I hear Soda say. The whole right side of my face feels like it's cramping up--and it burns. It stings. Cramped and stung, that darn son of a gun. I swear I could hear my heart beating. I almost stumble down but Darry catches me before I could fall and stands me straight back up.

"Dang, Soda," for some odd reason I'm chuckling. "You could do a lot of damage with that. You really ain't just a pretty face. And a nice personality. And a fun person overall." I slur my words since I could barely talk with my face being like this. I may have had a speech impediment to begin with. Now this makes me almost completely incoherent.

Not for Soda though, he understands my language.

I don't even realize what I've said until I take a gander in Soda's direction. It's dark out, the light shines down from the street lights and moonlight, but I could see the priceless expression plastered on Soda's face.

"I'm sorry, was that a compliment?" He sounds like he couldn't believe his ears. "You say that after I violated you?" He fidgets with the collar of his blood-stained auburn flannel. Rose bushes of scarlet blossoms on his face.

Roses . . .

That's Soda's signature scent, I could recognize it from miles away. Wait, what's going on? Oh yeah, Soda slapped me. I guess I fooled around and found out, huh?

"I didn't mean it, Steve," Soda's breathing got rapid, he was stressing. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry." He apologizes to my face. I gaze into his otherworldly eyes for quite a while, everything is registering in my mind. I'm processing it. Then I laugh.

"You don't gotta apologize, Sodapop. I forgive you. Y'all Curtis' are soft!" I gasp for air since I'm making myself laugh too much, it's almost embarrassing! "I can take a hit! I'm Steve Randle for crying out loud! I can handle it!" I attempt to stand up straight on my own. I almost tripped on air and tumbled down but I caught myself before I could make a fool outta me.

Two-Bit cocks an eyebrow and glances at Soda, who still has his eyes on me. He lets out a deep sigh.

"Tsk . . . I should've known, shouldn't I?" He gives a slight smile. It's only a half smile--heck, maybe not half but at least a quarter! And that's the most I've gotten from him ever since that rumble!

"You're something else, Randle." He tells me.
"You're my friend, I like you and all but you're really weird." He says and my stupid smile falters. It's nothing I've never heard before. It's just the way he says it. I've only known 'really weird' my whole life. I don't even know the opposite of weird.

"Yeah, weird is the least to say." Two-Bit ads. I glare at him for a moment, sensing a palpable tension increase. Man, Soda should've really broughten a leash since we're hanging out with Two-Bit Matthews.

I can almost read his expression, I know exactly what he's saying with that look. And an irritating voice in my mind mimics it, I know what you are. I grimace and shake my head, clearing that idea.

We continued walking, but I could keep my mouth shut this time. Not because I'm scared that I'll get slapped silly, but I think about things. Is there some obvious reason I'm missing out on the reason I'm single?

No, there couldn't be. I'm too immature for dating. I couldn't be serious to save my life, romance is embarrassing. I can't picture myself on a neat date with a pretty girl. No, perhaps I'm just not ready. Not ready to let a beautiful broad into my life? Oh darn, I haven't even kissed anyone, let alone date! Am I falling behind?

Soda and I step up onto my place's porch. "Do you wanna stay and hang out for a bit?" I ask him. "I wish, but my brothers are waiting for me. You know, although I'm 17 now Darry still treats me like a kid. Yeah, I'm a teenager technically, but close enough to adulthood! And between you and me, I think I'm Ponyboy's favorite brother." He smirks and winks. That's when I feel an unfamiliar fluttering sensation of heat travel up to my face.

"A-hah, hah, better get going then." I say without wiping what's probably the world's silliest smile off my face. Soda slightly tilts one of his eyebrows up, but he shrugs it off and nods, "see you at the gas-station, Stevie."

"See ya."

I open the door to my home but my eyes don't leave Soda, they trail down with him as he walks down the steps and off to his tuff car. So extraordinarily tuff, it suits Soda perfectly. Even after I shut my door and get settled inside, that smile stays plastered on my face. Like it's super-glued there. Someone glued it onto me! That someone is Soda.

Holy moly macaroni.