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THIRTEEN, Backstabbers!
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GUILT SETTLED WITHIN Himari as her mind replayed her last conversation with Bonnie. All she could think about was how hurt the girl was and how she was the one to cause it. She had thought about going back to the Grill to apologize and confess everything she'd been keeping from everyone. But she didn't. She couldn't face Bonnie again so soon. Instead, she allowed the guilt to fester, becoming this hollow pit in her stomach, an ache in her heart, because she knew she had lost her friend.
The guilt grew with a torrent of other worries, each other clawing at her sanity. Amongst them the looming question of how to defeat Klaus without the Kitsune heart. The fear of death was now more prominent than the others plaguing her mind, more tangible and menacing than ever. It was eating away at her slowly, almost painfully, a torturous erosion of hope. She was being chipped away, piece by piece, taunted in the worst way by the real possibility of her demise. It was torture. She hated it- she hated feeling so hopeless and tired.
Himari wondered why the universe cursed her with this fate. Back then, it was clear she was made to be more powerful than Klaus. She was made to win by any means necessary. Her mother told her so. But now, her path was so uncertain- so unknown. It felt like she was approaching impending doom rather than victory. There was so much hardship in the midst of everything- so many obstacles. She didn't know how much longer she could go on, how long she could keep convincing herself this would all be worth it in the end.
Deep down, she knew it wouldn't be.
Killing Klaus was a burden if anything- a burden she realized too late she didn't want to carry anymore. It had twisted her, made her become this wretched creature existing for a single purpose. She wondered what could have been had she not been chosen as the vessel.
