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ELEVEN, Mother, you haunt me still
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Himari had always been the type to be temperamental, over-emotional, volatile or so her mother used to always say. It was a feeling she was most familiar with. It showed itself more when she was younger in the littlest of things.
She remembered being frustrated by her inability to get the annunciation of a spell correct, how badly it angered her that every other kid could do it so effortlessly without the help of someone else repeating the spell back to them. She remembered being embarrassed at that moment, enough to light her own grimoire, and everyone's on fire. There were times when she would even accuse others of cheating if she lost to them despite it being a fair game. She couldn't handle the bitterness of defeat.
Her younger brother had been there after every tantrum, calming and reassuring her in the best way he could and that was by being there as she calmed herself down.
Her impulsive nature to act or speak without thinking was something her mother despised most. It wasn't a desired trait for a leader. For the next Kitsune. It hindered progress. People would not take her seriously if she behaved like a child every time something didn't go her way. Ama would have to remind her daughter daily to keep it together— that it was unbecoming of a young girl to act as if she didn't have any sense.
You cannot allow your emotions to overrule you.
Her mother's words plagued Himari every day even after her death. It was a reminder to control herself, to keep her guard up, to build a thousand walls if she had to if that's what it took for her to succeed.
If you do, you'll give your enemies a weakness they can manipulate. You cannot let that happen.
Himari believed allowing someone to dictate her emotions was akin to handing her enemies a weapon, a vulnerability they could exploit. It was a lesson she carried with her, and spent centuries learning how to restrain herself and the heightened emotions she gained once she was reborn. She taught herself to stay grounded and not let trivial matters affect the way she reacted to situations.
