As I walked into the coffee shop, I heard the loud bell ring behind me, signifying my entrance. Slowly, I looked around for that familiar face. The sparkling eyes, the Cupids Bow-shaped lips.
There she was. Her hair was up and her glasses were on. She looked really pretty.
I practically ran to her. I ran to her, and. . . someone else?
I stopped short. Addie was quietly whispering with someone else. His hair was brown and his eyes were blue. The opposite of me. . .
"Hi," I said quietly, shifting my weight from side to side. Addie looked up, she didn't look shocked or mad or upset anymore. She smiled. And so did the boy.
"Hi, Michael," she said as she shut the red-covered book in front of her. They were reading to each other.
"Hi, Addie," I said awkwardly. She never told me she'd bring someone else.
Wait, maybe he's gay.
She saw me glancing at him. "Oh, sorry. This is my boyfriend: Kyle." Shit, not gay.
My lips were a tight line. My pierced brow furrowed.
"Hello, Kyle," I said grimly. Addie patted the seat opposite her.
"Come, sit." she smiled again. God, I missed that smile.
So I did sit. I sat with that fucking dipshit and the love of my life.
It's kind of hard to be in love, you know. I glanced between the two. Addie had her hands cupped around her mouth; obviously what she was saying was only directed to her new boyfriend.
I crossed my arms. "I'm going to go order a tea," and I got up from the table. The air was thick and awkward. It smelled foul and wet, like wet mould.
I squinted a little at the menu board, and after small considering, I ordered a Chai.
My mom used to drink a hella lot of Chai tea.
Slowly I took a sip, wincing as the hot liquid burned my tongue. Instantly, I felt the rough patchy skin of roasted flesh from the stupid tea.
I turned around.
Their lips were locked in a passionate kiss, his hand kept what looked like a gentle grasp on her black-framed glasses.
I dropped the tea, and felt it cascade in a warm trickle down my thigh and leg.
"Fuck!" I yelled, quickly reaching for some napkins to soak it up.
At my loud outburst, Addie and Kyle parted and looked at me. "Are you alright?" Addie called. She almost sounded genuinely concerned. A simple question left me in tears. Was I alright? No. Fuck no. The love of my life holding hands with another left me darkly wondering.
Did she think of my lips when hers were tightly embraced with his?
Did she miss the soft callous of my fingers and they entwined theirs?
It mostly left me wondering if I was good enough. If I was ever going to good enough. But fuck, she left me for someone else, so obviously, I never was.
As I left the coffee shop, I didn't bother signalling a cab or call someone for a ride.
The walk home was many blocks away and lonely.
I was crying, and still trying to dry my soaked leg, and still cursing over my god damn burned tongue. Because fuck it hurt.
As I started my personal pity party, coincidently it started to rain. I sighed and pulled my army patterned jacket over my dyed hair.
I still felt the downpour.
this was boring and hard for me to write
