Break the ice

Chapter 8: Did she even miss me?

Huxley's POV

Buzz.

Sunshine: Sorry can't make it.. feeling sick today. See ya tomorrow at work, maybe :)

I can't hide the disappointment that's going through me right now. I didn't have the chance to see Estelle last weekend. Stupid practice. Then I finally mutter up the courage to ask Estelle to join me for lunch and now she's sick. I'm not going to bitch about it so I send her a message.

Me: Get well soon Estelle.

And sent. But my hands weren't done with that. They are now moving on their own accord.

Me: I kinda missed you. See you tomorrow

Now I wait. Will she respond? What is she thinking right now? Do I come across as desperate?

Sunshine: Yeah tomorrow, bye

That's it? That's all I get? I can't help but feel disappointment. Did she even miss me?

''Huxley, are you even listening?" Cami looks over at me, shaking me out of my thoughts.

''I'm sorry. Just got distracted. What were you saying.'' I ask trying to sound interested.

She laughs knowingly. ''It's her isn't it? Your girl?'' She looks at me expecting an answer. Talking to your ex about your current crush is just too weird. Shit. Did I just admit that I'm crushing on her? Stupid thoughts Huxley, so so so stupid.

''Estelle can't make it, she's sick.'' I say not even trying to hide my displeasure. I sigh and lean back in my chair. What am I going to do about Estelle. She's always there. In my damn head. Walking around like she owns the place. My thoughts aren't mine anymore. Estelle's presence is commanding them. Her voice plays like music through my ears and her smile is on display in my head 24/7. I don't want to feel this all the time but I can't stop it.

''You like her. God I'm stupid for thinking I could win you back.'' She tries to smile at me but fails. I kinda feel bad for Cami, she's trying her best to set things right with me. But my mind is only thinking of Estelle.

''It's fine Cami. What we had was nice while it lasted. I don't regret our relationship. My feelings are just not there anymore.'' I say honestly.

Cami seems to be understanding. ''Huxley, go after her okay. Make your feelings clear. Looking at your face I can tell you really like her. Remember what we just talked about? Well, you were a good boyfriend. Don't doubt yourself. I hate that I made you feel that way. And that's on me, not you. I want you to be happy. If Estelle's that person for you then go after her.''

Okay that hit. Maybe Cami's right. We did have a good talk. She made some things clear for me and I can finally have my closure.

''Thanks Cami, I appreciate it. I need to get going tho. See you around.'' I say my goodbye and head out.

While I walk to the library I think back on our conversation.

I was surprised to see Cami appear. I was expecting Estelle to show up, so imagine my disappointment when I saw Cami. I really didn't need that before meeting Estelle. But Cami was persistent. She saw me when she walked past the cafe and didn't want to pass up a chance to talk to me. She felt really bad about how our relationship ended. I only let her stay because I wanted to close that chapter of my life. So I listened to her talking about her feelings in our relationship.