Break the ice

Chapter 14: It's not about her, it's about you

Huxley's POV

"Huxley pass me the puck! Huxley! Yo man!" Dorian shouts at me. My head snaps up to meet his gaze. I was lost in thought again. It happens a lot ever since that party. The night were I still don't know if I screwed up. I know that Estelle reassured me that nothing happened, but I don't believe her. She's probably leaving some information out to spare me the embarrassement, cuz she's nice like that. Too nice for her own good. But I don't dare to ask her more questions. If I go back to that night, my mind will go back to seeing her lips on Jake's and I can't stand it. That night is cursed. I got slapped in the face by my crush and my best friend at the same time.

I get my head in the game again and up my speed. I surpass Jake and pass the puck flawlessly to Dorian, who looks relieved to see my focus return. Dorian makes way for himself on the ice and I catch up with him, passing by Miles and waiting for Dorian to hand the puck over to me. He signals to me and I get ready. The puck is flying over to me on the ice and I meet it halfway. With the puck in my possession I speed up and focus on the goal. The goalie is ready to defend. I meet his eyes and see him looking at his left. Without giving him time to process my movements, I shoot the puck over to his right.

Score.

Dorian skates over to me and gives me a pat on the shoulder.

"Alright team, practice is over! Nice shot Stokes, but get to keep your head in the game for the entirety of it, not just the end." Coach calls out.

"Yes coach. Won't happen again." I say back. I get off the ice and head to the locker room.

''Hey man, what's up with you today?'' Miles says, giving me a concerned look.

''Nothing to worry about. I'm good.'' I say as nonchalant as possible. Miles doesn't seem to buy it, but shrugs it off anyways. I sigh in relief, not wanting to get into this topic again.

''You guys can go ahead, I'll meet you outside, gotta talk to coach.'' I say to Miles, Dorian and Jake.

I'm receiving confused stares from all three.

''What?'' I ask with my shoulders moving upwards.

''Dude, you just talked to coach.'' Jake says, inspecting me.

''Since when are you so observant?'' I sneer back.

He just shrugs.

''I forgot to tell him something, I'll be right outside, just go.'' I say having enough of this unwanted conversation.

They seem to get the message and leave the locker room without me. I let out a breath. I've been spending time in my head after that night at the party. I didn't tell anyone what happened between me and Estelle, maybe because I don't know what even happened. But something must've happened, I just feel like it did. And I don't really want to talk about it with the guys. I could approach Kaia or Samara, but I can't trust them enough. They're probably telling Estelle everything and I'll just make a fool of myself.

My feelings for Sunshine drive me fucking crazy. I've never been this caught up in anyone. But Estelle isn't just anyone, she's the one. She can put up with my moody personality and bring light into my darker days. When our friendship started she became my pillar. When I got into my head I texted her and we just converse for hours. She even made work fun. Work became a way to de-stress from my role as hockey captain. Her smile, her sweet voice and her dazzling eyes are ingrained in my mind. Just being in her company made me forget all my problems and put my inner demons to rest, even if we just meet up for a minute. She brings peace into my life.

But that was all before. I don't know what happened before winter break but things got tense. Though we managed to patch things up, I know that it'll never be the same again. And after my drunk shenanigans we'll never be the same again. I just need to figure out what I did.