Trapped forever: The never-ending captivity of a lost girl.

chapter 6(update)

Pan's POV: "Divine," I whispered, but all I got was a sleepy mumble in return.

"I'm sleeping," she replied groggily.

"Fine, then," I smirked and slid into the bed next to her. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her head onto my chest as I absentmindedly stroked her hair. A strange warmth filled me as I lay there, flustered by how close she was. Before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep.

Six hours later, I woke up to her stirring. She sat up abruptly.

"Oh my god!" she yelled, scrambling off the bed.

"What? What happened?" I asked, confused by her sudden panic.

"Why was I sleeping on you?" she demanded.

"Well, you kinda told me to stay... and you pulled me back," I replied with a grin.

"I was sleep-talking!" she huffed, embarrassed.

"I don't care," I said nonchalantly, pulling her back into bed. "Relax." I noticed her shoulders were tense and started massaging them.

"What are you—" she began, but then she let out a small sigh. "Never mind, continue."

Divine's POV: As Pan massaged my shoulders, I felt a little conflicted. It felt nice, but this was Pan. I hated him, didn't I? After he finished, I awkwardly thanked him and got up. "What now?" I asked, hoping to get out of this weird situation.

"Well, I have to go see the boys and make breakfast," he mumbled sleepily. It was... kind of cute, and I hated myself for even thinking that.

As Pan left, I found myself sitting on the bed, thinking about him. His smile... it wasn't like the cold, sinister one he usually wore. It was different—warm, kind... like my mom's smile. That thought hit me like a truck, and before I knew it, I was crying. I wiped the tears quickly, but they kept coming. I couldn't stop thinking about my mom, about the dark place I used to be in.

I looked down at my lap, raising my shorts just slightly. Scar warning. The old scars were faint, but they were still there, reminding me of the pain I had buried deep inside. I absentmindedly ran my fingers over them, feeling a mix of shame and sorrow.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and I quickly rolled my shorts down.

"Hey, Div—" Pan started as he walked in, but his expression quickly changed when he saw me.

"Oh... hey," I whispered, trying to mask my emotions.

"Well, breakfast is ready," he said, looking a bit confused.

"I'm not hungry," I replied with a weak smile. He shrugged and left.

Once alone, I felt those dark thoughts creeping back in, stronger than ever. I paced around the room, trying to shake them off, but they were loud. Too loud. I rubbed my face, trying to snap out of it, but it wasn't working.

"Can my brain just... shut up?" I whispered to myself. The thoughts kept swirling—I'm not worth it. I'm useless. I'll never be good enough. I slapped my face, trying to get a grip. I needed air. I needed space.

I left the tent and walked into the woods, trying to clear my mind, but everything felt heavier. My breathing quickened, and I realized... I was lost.

"Shit," I muttered, leaning against a tree, fidgeting with my fingers. My breathing was too fast, my heart racing. I grabbed at my throat, feeling the air leave me. Not now, please, not now.

I turned around, desperate to find a way out, but I hit something—or someone. I fell to the ground and looked up, seeing Pan staring down at me.

"What are you doing out here, Divine? You're supposed to be—"

I pushed him away, unable to deal with him right now. My breathing was erratic, and I couldn't stop it. I could barely think.

"DIVINE!" he yelled, and I flinched.

"S-sorry," I whispered, feeling small, trying to hold back my tears.

"Sorry WHAT? You're gonna have to speak up, LOVE," he barked.

"Sorry!" I said louder, trying to get him off my back.

"You will be," he muttered darkly, grabbing my arm and pulling me back to camp. His grip hurt, but I couldn't focus. My breathing was still all over the place.

"Do you have asthma or something? Quit being annoying," he snapped, tugging me harder.

"Stop!" I whimpered, feeling so small, so weak. Why did I ever think he was kind? Why did I let myself fall for that fake smile? He was nothing like my mom. He was nothing but cruel.

Back at camp, the boys laughed at me as Pan dragged me along. He shoved me to the ground, and I tried crawling away, but he pulled me back. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"What did I do wrong?" I sobbed quietly.

"Are you seriously crying right now? You're pathetic," he spat, and the boys laughed harder.

I couldn't take it anymore. I ran back to my tent, the dark thoughts crashing down on me like a wave.

Trigger Warning: Self-harm
Inside my tent, I spotted a shard of glass on the floor. I knew I shouldn't, but the thoughts wouldn't stop. My hand reached for the glass, pressing it against my skin. The pain grounded me, but I knew it wasn't right. Just one more cut, just to make the thoughts go away.

I wiped the blood away and bandaged my thigh, but standing up was difficult. I felt ashamed—ashamed that I couldn't stay clean, that I had relapsed.

Suddenly, the door burst open. It was Pan, his eyes scanning the room.

"What happened over there?" he asked, his eyes narrowing as he pointed at the broken glass and bloodstain on the floor.

I froze, panic rising. "Uh... I don't know," I stammered, trying to figure out what to say.