Spirit Animals Oneshots

The Three and the Degenerate Part 3

Well, the same thing for the other two applies here. Things haven't changed lol

< Meilin > 

(Flashback). "Stop this". He would say in a low tone, "What are the three?"

"Be firm, be strong, be absolute. Always," I would whisper through tear-stained eyes, a tiny bandage on my finger. 

"You will not give up on them because of the tiniest scrape, understood?"

I nod, tears spilling down my little cheeks and dripping to the floor.

"Good." He had this intensity to him. One that made him the greatest general the world had ever known. It came with a downside though; everyone feared him, including me. His cynicism was engrained in my mind, forever scornful. I couldn't look in the mirror without seeing him, without seeing the disappointment on his face. 

"You can't show hesitation." He'd sigh. It was my first kill. I was six, how was I meant to murder a poor little bird? But his only response was if I could not prove myself something other than a delicate glass plate, I would never be a warrior.

All I ever wanted was to prove myself to him. I sniffled, "I'm sorry daddy."

"You can't show weakness", he'd remind. I was twelve then, and controversy was spewing around the village. Father believed the best way to combat that was keep a level head, stay isolated, and wait it out. It was unconventional of him, the man was a war lord. Staying hidden and patient were two things he could never do. 

I'd mutter, "I know, Dad." (Flashback over). 

"Whatever you do, you cannot waiver," he'd warn. I'm sixteen now, still feeling like a little girl, standing on a fortress. One that won't save me from myself, while the horizon blurs in the far distance. 

I'm damaged. A damage that dampens the air and dulls the sun. 

But as the sun will continue to rise and as the day comes, one less problem will be on this earth. I'll be free. A word I haven't known. 

I won't listen to you anymore, Father. I grew to be the perfect soldier, something you'd always wanted me to be. But I'm not a soldier, I'm a kid. And you've made me into a monster. There's nothing else I can be. I'm a burden, a liability, to everyone. Just being near me is dangerous enough. It almost got Rollan killed. 

I'm sorry. Know that I was never worth the trouble anyway. 

The real three are them. Conor is firm, determined. He can't see it but he is, the foundation of the 4 Fallen. Everything would crumble without him. Abeke is strong, a mighty defender of Erdas. She deals with so very much and still holds on, courage the only emanation. The wonderful woman Abeke is, she makes grace and meaning look easy. Rollan. He's everything to me, the absolute I've been missing for so long. After years of struggling, he counters every action with consistent willpower. He's clarity. If you rely on Rollan, he's there. He always has been, with little to no fix but an open mind. 

I've hurt them. Always the damsel, never the knight to hold my own. I'm the enemy, it was never Zerif. I'm shattering, and while they attempt to reassemble the pieces, they get cut by the jagged edges. Especially Rollan. 

I hope he can forgive me. For what I've done, for what I'm about to do. I won't give him a chance to say goodbye, I can't face him. If I'm close I feel as though I might slip away again and finalize the Bile's intentions.