POWER BACK

Chapter 24: Dopamine

Dopamine

December

"Hey, Jack."

I looked up at my older brother from the floor of the barn where I played with miniature tractors and pick-up trucks in the hay. I blinked in the evening sunlight that poured through the open door.

"Hi Jess," I said softly, watching the way the hay fell from the scoop of one machine into the bed of the other.

"Dad's home. Been drinking again."

I stopped in mid-motion, my head jerking around to look out at the driveway.

"Is it scatter time?" I asked, trying to steady my voice.

"Yeah, bud. We gotta skedaddle."

We both climbed the ladder to the loft above, hurrying to hide ourselves among the rafters and machinery.

I remember struggling to regulate my breathing, trying to be as silent as possible. Jessie put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

"It's okay, bud. It'll pass soon."

I nodded, my eyes darting from side to side, scanning the barn for danger. They finally rested on the long rope that dangled from the highest rafter and coiled up in a pile on the loft floor like a cobra poised to strike. 

"But what about her?" I whispered.

"Who, Mom?"

"Yeah. Who's gonna protect her?"

****

"You okay, Chaplin?"

I snap out of the memory. "Yeah, yeah." I take the rope in my hands and tug on it to make sure it's still secure. Peyton studies my face, trying to interpret what she sees there.

I clear my throat. "So, a few things to keep in mind. Don't leave a lot of slack because if you do, it'll jolt you when the rope catches. What we need is a nice swinging motion. So, you wanna grab the knot that's second from the bottom, get the rope good and taut. That will create more of a pendulum, so the ride'll be smoother."

She hesitates, looking down.

"This is higher than I imagined," she says, biting her bottom lip. She's swaying side to side like she's nervous.

"You sure you wanna do this?" I raise my eyebrows. "Not too late to change your mind."

She takes a deep breath and nods. "Yeah, I need to do this," she says, "to redeem myself."

"Okay, how about I go back down there...in case I need to break your fall."

Her eyes grow wide. "That doesn't sound ominous at all," she snarks.

I climb back down the ladder and walk to the middle of the barn. I look up at her. "Okay, ready when you are."

She grabs the third knot from the bottom and puts the rope with the second knot between her legs, so she's sitting on it, swing style. Then she closes her eyes, steps into empty space, and bleats out a little squeal. She's got a death grip on that rope, but it catches and keeps, swinging her through the air like a wrecking ball.

She opens her eyes to look down at me, and a huge smile lights up her face. When she swings to a stop, I stand underneath her to help her down. Her chosen knot is a good six feet off the ground, quite a drop from where she's sitting.

She looks at me warily.

"It's okay, I gotchu," I say, arms out, like a dad in the pool with a timid child.