Club Jacob

The First Day

August 28th, 2023. 7:50 AM.

The doors of South Park High School open. The 2023-2024 school year has begun. As students walk in, sunburnt and dissapointed that the summer is over, one of them stood out against the rest. Her orange parka gleaming in the sunlight and a choppy ass haircut she probably cut herself, Kenny was excited for her.... 3rd senior year at South Park High, because she gets to spend it with her best friend, Tweek. Kenny was determined to pass this year, not just because she didnt want to redo the 12th grade for a fourth time, but because she wanted to graduate next to her best friend.

Kenny eagerly waited for Tweek to walk into the school. She stood at the front of the school smiling, she couldn't wait to share all of her great plans for this school year with Tweek. She was determined to make this school year the best one yet, when all of a sudden..

"What are you looking so happy for?.."

Kenny looked up to see from who this aggressive tone of voice came from.

"Oh! Hai Abbey! Hai Fire!"

"Shut up tranny." Abbey said, throwing her poptart at her.

There stood the Canadians... or what was left of the Canadians. See, the Canadians have always been the bullies of the school... a trio of bullies.. consisting of the leader, Abbey (or Canadian Stan), Fire, the European transfer student (or Canadian Kyle), and Clude.. who was just Canadian Clude. At the end of their sophomore year, Abbey kicked Clude out of the Canadians because he refused to light one of their victim's lockers on fire. Ever since then, Abbey and Fire have been trying to find a third Canadian, but have had no luck.

"Are you guys excited for junior year?" Kenny said, trying to stay on the Canadian's good side, "My junior year was-"

"No one gives a shit dude." Fire said, cutting Kenny off. Fire shoved Kenny to the side and the duo walked into the school.

"RUDE!!" Kenny yelled out at the two in a strained British accent. She then brushed the poptart crumbs off her parka and looked out the doorway for Tweek. She stood there for a good 5 minutes. "Where the HELL is he?" she muttered to herself. Only a couple seconds later...

"KENNYYYYYY!! HAIIII!!!"

The blonde ran towards his best friend and hugged her.

"TWEEK!! HAII!" Kenny said, as their hug broke. "Aren't you sooo excited?? We get to spend senior year together!!" Tweek said, tweaking with happiness. "Yasss!" Kenny said, as the two walked into the school together.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, BABY!" could be heard from all across the school. This horrendous, screeching yell came from Bebe, the notorious kiss-and-teller of the school. It was rumored that Bebe was a psychotic stalker sociopath that stalked all of her 27 exes. Even with these awful rumors, she had a friend group, known as the "girls". The girls consisted of Bebe, Wendy, Baby (Bebe's sister), Nichole, and Heidi. The five of them would constantly gossip about everyone in school, and would write all of their disgusting thoughts in Bebe's diary.

After everyone's ears stopped ringing from Bebe's screech, the bell rang. The first class of the school year.

- Time Skip -

Its now lunch time, and Tweek and Kenny can be seen sitting at a table, alone.

"So.. you know how seniors can run afterschool clubs, right?" Kenny said, reaching into her backback.

"Yeah, I do. Do you have an idea of a club we can start??" Tweek excitedly said.

"Yeah! Y'know the sophomore Jacob, who we followed around last year because he was.. uh... interesting?..." Kenny said, giggling.

"yeah, lawl." Tweek said.

"So I was thinking we could make a Jacob fanclub, and we could just recruit people who think Jacob is funny and we can like.... uh.... do funny stuff in the club." Kenny said.

"WHAT THE HELLLL!! THATS PERFECT!!" Tweek said. The two then planned out how they were going to recruit new members.

-Time Skip-

It's now afterschool,and the two best friends walk down the hallway, with a plan about their new afterschool club. On the way to the principal's office, the two of them ran into their friend, Cartman, who was lighting a Kasane Teto plush, trying to set off the fire alarm.

"Hello Ewan." Tweek said.

"Why are you setting Teto on fire??!!! Cheeky." Kenny coughed out. She loves Teto.

"She was messing with the two stooges." Cartman said, blowing out the flame on Teto's twindrill.

"Ok..." The two said. "Hey Cartman, do you remember Jacob? The chaotic fella." Tweek said.

"Yes, What about that queer?" Cartman said.

"We're making a club about him! Were on our way to approve it. Did you want to join?" Tweek said, happily.

"That would never get approved. The other clubs this year are the chess club and the snow shoveling club.. which I guess is useful since we live in Colorado, but its boring as hell. So if you crazy bastards get this club approved, I'm in."

The two best friends squeal in happiness. They got their first member. Kenny snatched the Teto plush from Cartman and the two headed to the principal's office.

The two enter the office, where Principal Hickey sat.

"Hello Mr. Hickey." Kenny said, approaching his desk with a paper. Tweek stood behind her.

"Hello you two. How was your first day?" He said.

"Ok. Mr. Hickey, me and Tweek want to start a club."

"Alright, what do you got?" He said, interested.

"Ok, well... it's a club about one of our crazy friends, Jacob. We wanted to start a club about silliness and just to have fun." Kenny said, almost scared of rejection or ridicule.

"Hmmm.. well that sounds... interesting..." Mr. Hickey said, deep in thought. "Sure. Try it out, and if no one joins, I'm shutting it down, ok? Y'all can have room 307."

"Really?" Tweek blurted out "Oh. I Mean. Thank you." They both grinned as they tried to compose themselves on the way out.

"AAAAAAA!!!" The two exclaimed, jumping up and down in happiness.

"We need to come up with a club name.." Kenny said, as the two of them walked up to room 307.

"Jacob's biggest fans?" Tweek said, walking up the stairs.

"No.. we need something shorter. Something that catches peoples attentions.... Wait! I got it."

"....Club Jacob."

The two looked at eachother and grinned. This was it. Club Jacob.

The two opened the door to room 307. It was the old biology room.

"I'll clean some of this stuff out. Tweek, since you can draw, can you make a poster for our new club?.." Kenny said, with a grin.

"Yas!" Tweek said, as he took out a piece of paper and began sketching.

This was it. All of Kenny's plans were coming to light.

This is going to be a great year.