Our Last Dance

44.

"You look good, mom..." Trevor simply stated as he watched her prepare coffee at the kitchen to go with the slices of cherry pie that Shelly previously cut before taking the baby outside to play with. "You look like you're doing a lot better..."

"I am... I'm hoping to get this boot off within the next couple weeks," she claimed, taking a seat at the dining room table to meet him. "The doctor said since I had the surgery, I'm mostly waiting for the incision to heal, the ankle is fine to walk on..."

"Good," he rubbed his hands together, just slightly nervous for their conversation to commence. "That's good," he mumbled.

"So, I take it that Shelly dragged you here against your will?" she assumed in a joking matter.

"No... No, I uh--" he shook his head. "I'd been trying to get over here, but my schedule changed at work and I'm working more now and I'm just beat when I get home... Annelle went to school and work today and Ireland begged for Shelly to babysit her and so when she came over to pick up Ireland to hang out, we got to talking..." he lingered. "She convinced me that I should come by before I go to work tonight and I thought I agreed."

She smirked to herself, not at all trying to make it obvious that she wanted to laugh, because Shelly was true to her word.

"I don't know if you know this, but Shelly studies psychology and I'm pretty sure she was shrinking me back at the house..." he furrowed his brows, looking up at his mom. "That's the vibe I got, at least..."

"Yeah?" she nodded, staring at him.

When she looked at him, she was reminded of his father so much so; his body language, dealing with emotions and how he carried himself when he was hesitant. 

Her husband was life of the party when he had to be, but in real life, he could be shy when it came to opening up about his feelings which was one reason, dance was his other soulmate; he expressed himself through dance and he taught his wife to do the same.

"Mhmm..."

"And what did you get from that?" she wondered. 

"That maybe I'm a little bit-- You know, maybe I'm just kind of-- Maybe sort of... jealous," he lingered ever so long, dragging the sentence out.

"Just a little?" she asked. 

"Okay, I am jealous..." he sighed, reaching back to scratch the back of his neck. "I'm jealous that you didn't tell me about your surgery, almost like you didn't trust me and I was jealous that even when I found out and came to the hospital that I wasn't the one to take care of you... When I was a kid, dad did everything for you, you did everything for me and then when he died, I knew it was my responsibility to take care of you because he told me if anything should ever happen to him it was my job and my job only..."

She sympathized.

"And I did. At that age, I did what I could to make sure you were okay while raising my family. You've always needed me and it's hard that you don't need me as much. Even when I was okay with the idea of Lindsey being there for you as a friend, I was jealous on my dad's behalf. Having a male best friend like Lindsey would have never flown when dad were around and you know that..."

"He's not around anymore," she mumbled. 

He furrowed his brow and looked up at her just to see how reserved she became after saying so.

She then looked up and spoke with a little more confidence. "I loved your father with everything in me and as much as it pains me to say it, he's not here anymore..."

"I get that and I've been reminding myself that nobody is wrong, you're doing what you feel is right and I'm just feeling like I betrayed my dad is all..." he sighed and looked at her. He then paused for a long moment and then he sighed again when his next thoughts hit him. "Oh, but aside from everything else, I am kind of mad that you kept telling me that you and Lindsey weren't a couple when obviously that wasn't true..." he fell back in his chair. "That's where the son in me just feels betrayed. You're entitled to your privacy and own business, but living in a small town like this one, with every God damn neighbor spreading some sort of rumor, it annoyed me... And you told me that anything more was to happen, you'd tell me."