Age Is Just a Number (MileTa)

10- Confession

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Ta's POV _

After the day of P'Mile's engagement my life feels like nothing but a mare emptyness.

I feel my brightest days filled with darkness.

I want to drown in the deep dark ocean so the cold water can take away the sorrow and pain I'm feeling right now.

I never knew I wanted him this much. Is it love or something else? I don't know. But it damn hurts!

I lost all my interest in music & apatite for food as well. Music is nothing but him with all the precious memories I have.

I want to eat the chocolate badly he brings me everytime. My tired eyes are searching for a glimpse of him but find nothing.

P'Mile is too busy to visit me. He's with his fiancé. He's happy.

But what about me?

In all Barcode is giving me some strength to hold on. He calls me every night and try to make me laugh by using bad words against P'Mile's fiancé. For sometime it works.

P'Mile also calls me sometimes. Ask me if I'm doing well and practicing piano and guitar.

I lie everytime. After that day I haven't gotten close to my guitar or piano.

The thing more hurt is I have to hear his fiancé's voice through phone. She's always with him.

No matter how hard I try to stop thinking about it I can't help.

I'm watching P'Mile's very first gift he gave me on my 7th birthday.

Suddenly my dad entered the room.

"What are you doing, son?"

"Oh.. dad.. nothing.. come in."

I fix my expression.

"Here's a surprise for you, son?"

"Surprise!! What is it?"

My mood lit up. I unwrap the envelope.

"It's... a passport!"

"Yeah.. your passport and visa.. we're flying to London!"

"London?!"

"My business there almost in peek. I already built a house for us. From now on we're gonna stay there. And you always wanted to study in London, right?"

"Dad... I told you that when I was so young.. but I'm good here."

"I know.. but dad never take that slightly. I already enrolled your name in a school there. You can study at the University you want. A better future is waiting for you, my son. Aren't you happy?"

Dad is looking at me waiting for my consent reply.

"Of course dad... I'm so happy! Thank you very much!"

I hugged him. He patted my head.

"Be ready.. our flight is within 3 Days." He left.

I cried. Why is fate so cruel to me? His fiancé already crossed a line between us and Now I have to go far away from P'Mile that I can't even see him for once if I want to.

I have to leave my friend Barcode too.

But in a such way I can tell it's a blessing because I don't have to see P'Mile and his would be wife together in front of my eyes. Maybe the distance can make me forget about him.

I informed Barcode and he's so sad. He cried over phone a lot.

The three days passed in a blink.

Everything is packed and we're ready to make our journey. Because leaving the home Barcode and P'Mile are here to pay me a visit.

Barcode cried a lot. I also couldn't hold my tears. I haven't faced P'Mile yet. I went to the terrace to take the last glance of the view I always enjoy from my window.

"Nong Ta.."

The familiar voice called me. I tried my best to hold my tears.

P'Mile comes and stands beside me. A bouquet and my favorite chocolates are in his hands.

"Here's your favorite chocolate.. I don't know when I can give them to you again.. Oh.. you're crying.. don't cry.."

I can't hold back and hugged him. Crying in his embrace for the last time.

"I'm.. I'm gonna.. miss you, P'Mile..."

"I'm gonna miss you, Nong. It's ok. You're gonna have a better life a better future."

He kissed my head and faced me. Wiping away my tears.

"P'Mile.."

"Humm.."

"P'Mile.. it's hurting so much... I don't know why.. I want to stay with you... But I can't.. I'm helpless.. hopeless.. I'm too weak to fight for what I want.. it's hurting.."

"Nong Ta.. you're..."

"I can't see you... With someone else.. I fuckin' hate it.. I hate it too much.. because.. I love you.. I love you so God damn much!"

"...?!"

"I love you for so long.. want to marry you.. want to spend my whole damn life with you.. but I can't.. I lost you.. now.. I'm going far away from you.. but.. I'll always love you.."

I grabbed his collar and pulled his head down to kiss him.

I wanted to confess and for a moment the storm of my heart stopped.

He's still. His eyes are wide open.

I moved my lips. After a moment I felt his arms around my waist.

My tongue roamed inside his mouth. How much I was longing for this!

I let go. He's still quite and looking at me in surprise.

I know he has so many questions in his head. He wants to ask but he's silent. Looking at me.

"I. Love. You.. P'Mile. If.. one day I got a chance to love you and make you mine.. I'll get back to you. I promise."

I took that chocolate and bouquet from him hand and turned to walk away.

"Thanks for every memory you gave me.. I cherish our moments."

I walked away.

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Ta's tears are only for him. And Mile is still standing in disbelief and whatever happened. Ta's words are sincere.

Mile felt every word. But he can't believe this little one can love him this much and this way. Ta's tears make his heart ache.

But their circumstances are against them. Not even anything possible between them. Mile doesn't know how he feels for the younger. But he's sad. He doesn't know what to feel right now after the younger's brave confession.

He's standing all alone, letting the winds hit
him softly.

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