For Granted: Regretful Childhood Friend

Chapter 1 | ✓

-They will have a HEA. English is my second language, so please forgive any mistakes.

I didn't start my journey in this world in such a pathetic way, believe me. I was not at all happy to be living in this difficult dilemma. I can't pinpoint when my life became a bubble of jealousy, but here I was, trembling with anger, feeling like I could snap at any moment. And the person I considered one of the most important in my life was smiling at another woman. The jerk... the lying bastard!

I was born an adorable little baby, and everyone would agree. I have pictures to prove it. My mother has several photos of me wearing pink dresses and fluffy bows in my hair. I was always a very photogenic baby,  swear to God. Mom considered signing me up with a modeling agency for a beauty career, but she decided I should choose when I was older. In the end, I opted for a different path in life. One of those paths led me to sit at a ridiculous party, feeling all kinds of shame for the unacceptable behavior of the man I loved.

I was letting him do this to me, yet again. I didn't know why I kept putting up with his attitude. Unless I was seriously mistaken, I was being led on.

Chase was also a very cute baby—more so than I was, I would say. He was already in this world when I arrived. Our families, neighbors, and longtime friends laid us on the living room floor next to each other for the first time when I was just a few months old. I tried to pull Chase's hair right into my mouth, and he started crying. But that's not the point.

For reasons I can't quite understand, I fell deeply in love with my childhood friend, Chase. It was intensely disconcerting and ultimately unrequited.

Chase, whom some might call a dumbass, was usually very kind and sweet. I might even say he was possessive, as he was always, and I mean always, in my space. He would call me all the time, send me texts, and insist on seeing me every day. However, there was one thing he would never do: he would never make any romantic moves towards me. He never, at any point, commented on the possibility of a romantic relationship between us. Never.

One might think he had a hidden interest or a longing for me. It could have been incredibly romantic if that were the case, but the truth was different. The fact that he had girlfriends and hookups proved that none of his actions—the texts, the kisses on the cheek, the arm around my shoulder—actually held any deeper meaning. What mattered most was his fidelity and commitment, and I had none of that. Chase never kissed me or even hinted that he wanted to. I was simply his friend and neighbor, nothing more.

Maybe Chase felt the same way, or maybe not. The truth is that he was leading me on, and I let him. I exhaled deeply as I sat down next to Chase's companions, looked into space and wondered what I was doing here.

I could have been involved with someone by now. I could be dating, even engaged, whatever. But Chase was always around, just a phone call away to say good morning. And every time I considered giving up on him and living my life, he would come up with flowers, a grin, or an invitation to lunch, and I would decide to give it another shot. Just one more day, he'll say Just one more day and he will say the right things...

But he was actually an idiot.

He would kiss my cheek and forehead, inquire about my day, insist on bringing me places, and purchase me whatever I desired. He would sit beside me with his arm around my shoulders at any opportunity. He would make me join in all of his games and, on occasion, his training.

However, that was the extent of his commitment to me. Perhaps he doesn't even realize what he's doing.

He was making me waste my damn time, that was what he was doing! Why am I allowing this...?