Our marriage was arranged. We started having feelings for eachother after he tied knot around my neck. I thought it was forever but the we were divorced. Why did we? Why did we lose everything before everything could begin. I want to be with him but...
I entered my house after a long tiring day. Amma and Appa were at home watching news as it is already 6 P.M. Akila was also there along with them but she was just scrolling through her mobile.
I went to my room and dumped my bag and fell on the bed sighing. As soon as my thoughts started wandering around Harish, my ex-husband I got up from the bed and went to bath. As the water drops fell on me I sighed thinking it could wash away my memories as it washed away the dirt from my body but it couldn't so. I stood there as long as I can. I wanted to scream loudly but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything not then not now.
As soon as I freshened up I went to the kitchen to wash the utensils. If I don't keep myself busy then my mind would go haywire so I took my time in washing them slowly. As I finished washing them I started to cook for the dinner.
The dinner was very silent. Appa has always been a strict person and we both have always obeyed his words. For us he came first before everything that's why here I am but can I blame him no I can't all I can blame is my ill fate and bad luck written in my head . Again I washed the utensils and went back to my room and started correcting the answer sheets. I did it until night 12. Sleep.... Sleep.... it's too difficult to sleep when you have too much of burden on your mind.
But still I try to sleep by keeping my mind calm breathing in and out slowly until I fall asleep.
The next morning I wake at 6 and started cooking as my bus will arrive at 7.30.
Amma helped me in kitchen and I got ready and packed lunch. Soon the bus came and I boarded it . I got into my favorite window seat where I can get a glimpse of his house every day.
Though it is not a healthy behavior I get nostalgic seeing his house and reminiscing our cute little moments together. Though it was six months of togetherness they are etched in my heart forever. I wish things were different for us.
After reaching college I went to the staff room dropped my bag picked up the subject book and went to my class. This is how I pass my every single day .
I wish...
I wish...
I wish.... I could change my life...
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Everyone want to change their life for one reason or the other.
