His Heart's Desire (Book 2 in His Heart's Series)

Chapter 14

Luke

I didn't meant to say those things. I didn't meant to admit to her how much she hurt me, and that I wanted to marry her.

I stared at her and her reaction and feeling of uneasiness gripped me.

She stared back at me without saying a word.

"A part of me feels like I'm being an idiot for considering this," she admitted.

"What do you want, Livie? What does your heart tell you?" I asked.

She sighed and pain crossed her eyes. "No matter how much I tell myself that there's just too much mistrust and hurt between us, I can't help but want this too. I know I shouldn't, but I do. And the twins... they're a big part of this too."

"I know. I want this too, Livie. I want this so bad."

She sighed and stared helplessly back at me. "Time, Lucas. Time. That's all I ask."

I nodded. "One month, like we agreed."

She nodded. "A month."

"Then we'll get married," I said.

She nodded. "Then we'll get married."

I smiled and hugged her to me. "I swear it, Livie. You won't regret this!"

She gave me a small smile. One that didn't reach her eyes.

Olivia

He hugged me close. "I swear it, Livie. You won't regret this!" He said like he can control what happens between us.

I tried so hard not to break down.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

It feels so right being in his arms. I've missed him... I've missed him so much... But it still doesn't change the fact that he makes things sound so easy between us. Like everything will just disappear because he said so... I wanted to tell him that it's not as simple as he makes it sound.

You see... Deep inside of me I know that without trust our relationship has no chance. He may have said that he trusts me... But I don't trust him. I don't trust that we can make this work. That he won't hurt me again. But above all of that, I don't trust myself. I've already made a fool of myself multiple times over Lucas. Every time I'm back in his arms, snuggled close to him, and when he kisses me, I lose all control and what little common sense I have left.

I guess bottom line is that, there's such a strong hesitation on my part when it comes to Lucas.

I know that when I said yes to Lucas, that I was being an idiot. But is it so wrong to want the same thing for our boys as he does? Is it so wrong to want to give our sons the family we both lost?

Once you have children, you no longer decide what's best for you. You make decisions based on what's best for your kids. And no matter how I look at things, I know deep down that Lucas is right. Jarred and Jaydan deserve to have both parents.

No matter how deeply Lucas hurt me in the past, I have to find a way to let it go.

Forgive and forget. Start anew.

I know that by staying, I would be losing my heart to Lucas again. But maybe, it would be different this time.

At least, I hope it will be...

Luke

"Why don't we try again?" I asked.

Livie raised her eyebrows in confusion.