Defiance: Regulus Black x OC

21

Regulus Black

It's an odd feeling to be lied to. It's an even more odd feeling to not know if you are being lied to, to not remember things people say happened. Things like a wedding, a marriage, a wife. See I did remember those things, but it was not her who I was married to. Not the girl with dark, long, wavy hair. Not the girl with hazel eyes. No. I am married to the girl with short blonde hair, and blue eyes. 

Florence. 

I married Florence. I can see it clear as day, I can remember every moment of the wedding, I can remember us playing in school as kid, going to the yule ball. But here I am staring directly at the complete opposite but knowing she's not lying. I believe her, I do. I believed it even more when I saw Kreacher. But how am I to love someone I barley know. How am I supposed to be her husband, when in my own head this whole time I have been a husband to someone else. 

Is it cheating? Did I cheat on her if I didn't even know I was. I would never do that, but it seems as if I do not have an option. I loved Florence. I love her still. I know the memories may not be real to everyone else, but to me they are. I have those memories of her that I cannot erase. I know in her memories it is not the same. But how am I to love the girl in front of me, when all my memories are of another. 

They must've noticed I was out of thought. That I was no longer listening to a word they say. She spoke up asking if i'm okay, but I can't escape my head enough to come up with an answer. I've spent years, years, trying to find who I am. When I was with Florence I did. At least my mind tells me that. 

"I want to know the truth." I said this staring at Dumbledore, not allowing my eyes to steer towards the other girl. Bella Potter. I don't remember much at school of her, besides her and Sirius. 

"I can erase the block on your memories if you would like Mr. Black." The old man smiled towards me holding his wand in one hand. "I can always reveal the truth, but you have to want it." He continued on peering slightly over his glasses, mimicking my eyes, not leaving them for a moment. 

The truth is I don't know. I was happy with Florence, I have never been happy in my life. What if I wasn't happy with Bella. What if I was no one, barley noticed, not even by her. I sat with my thoughts for a moment, finally forcing my eyes away from Dumbledore, then onto her. Her eyes were begging, pleading, for me to know. Hoping I would say yes. She loves me. "Was I happy?" I said towards her. 

"Reg, that's not an easy answer." She said softly, not holding eye contact like the old man did. Not looking at me, but no, looking towards the floor. "In all honesty, I don't know. I think you were becoming happy, but so much was happening around us. So I don't know if you were happy Regulus."

"We're you?" 

She looked up at me, her eyes widening, her face becoming a slight shade of red. A smile spread across her cheeks as she pulled her eyes from me and began laughing. "There was never a moment in my life when I was not happy to be with you Reg." She sighed looking away. 

She loved me. I can see that more than anything. Maybe I am the only one she has ever loved from the looks of her face. But did I love her? Did I want to be with her or did I ask the Dark Lord to do this. To take me out of the situation. I could go back right now, to Malfoy Manor. Be with my cousin and her son, be with my wife. Choosing Bella, is leaving everything I know and working to take down the Dark Lord. 

"The truth." I sighed looking towards Dumbledore again. I don't know what my mouth is going to let out, I don't even know what I am planning to say. Then the words left my mouth without me thinking. "Yes. I want the truth." I sighed looking directly into his eyes, awaiting the memories to flood in. To consume me. I felt him entering my mind. 

It was like watching a movie. Beginning till end. They consumed me, I slowed them as much as possible to take in every detail. 

"Regulus Black." I smiled to the new Slytherin girl. 

"Bella Potter." She smiled back to me. 

I remember meeting her. I laughed because of course Merlin would send a Potter into my life once again. 

Meet me at the edge of the forest, 9pm. I wrote softly along the parchment before handing it off to my owl. I pushed myself up to head to Hogsmeade to get everything. 

"Where you going?" Barty smiled working on something at his desk. 

"Hogsmeade, wanna come?" 

"Nah, I'm good, potions work." He laughed going back to his work. "Oh! and let me know what she says." 

I felt a smile cross my face before heading out and stopping at every shop, getting chocolates, flowers, tea, anything and everything that makes her happy. I grabbed a bag to put everything in before realizing how dark it was and heading to meet her. Please don't be early. I kept telling myself. If she's early I wont have time to set it all up at this point. 

I finally reached the spot noticing she is thankfully not here yet. I grabbed the flowers out of the bag spreading them on the ground and putting small candles next to them. I put the bag next to me and stood behind it all, waiting. 

I kept glancing at my watch. 

8:57

...

8:58

And then I heard a small branch behind a tree, followed by footsteps crunching the leaves. I took in a deep breath wiping my hands on my pants, hoping I don't look nervous. She peered around before her eyes caught the candles. Her hands went up over her mouth as her face began turning red. She had a smile pressed underneath them before finally meeting my eyes and slowly stepping forward. 

"Reg, what is this?" She questioned as her eyes smiled above her hands. 

"Bella," I smiled. "I want you to go to the Yule Ball with me." She began laughing in front of me before I realized how that sounded. "No wait," I stuttered trying to form the words. "I mean if you want to, you don't have to, you can alway-"

She cut me off wrapping her arms around my torso and laying her head on my chest. "I want to." She smiled. I met her eyes leaning down and planting a soft kiss on her lips. 

The Yule Ball. That wasn't Florence, that was Bella. This whole time, every happy memory I had with Florence has always been Bella. The Dark Lord simply implanted a new face over hers, leaving my memories intact, just allowing a new person to rule them. I felt hands come up to my face realizing I was crying. My own hands were rubbing under my eyes. I broke my gaze from Dumbledore before looking back towards her. Back towards the girl I loved. 

I moved over towards her before wrapping my arms around her. I stood crying with her in my arms for what felt like hours. 

"I love you." I smiled before she looked up at me. I haven't said that to her much since we became friends again. I don't even believe I have said it once. "I always have, and always will." I continued. This time her eyes didn't leave mine once before a smile spread across her face. 

"And I love you, Regulus Black."