Defiance: Regulus Black x OC

2- updated

I never felt the pain I feel now. I never saw it as possible, never saw it as a thing. I never thought i'd loose him. Things were going to be perfect, he was going to work for the order, he was going to be here with us. It was supposed to be us, together. Now i'm alone.

There's nothing more dangerous than a girl alone.

Nothing more powerful than a girl who's lost everything.

I needed a plan. I needed to do this. To kill him.

I never thought I would be the one at the end taking the blow, I honestly never even thought I would defeat him. I never thought it was possible, I always thought we would loose in the end.

But nothing is more dangerous than me.

I walked through the house before anyone even awoke needing fresh air, needing to see normality. I need to go sit and watch the muggles. It seems odd but it's peaceful to see people so clueless as to what is happening around them. I walked and walked before I found myself at a similar place.

Grimmwauld place to be exact.

I stood outside before sitting on the bench. I stared for what felt like hours, hoping the see the homes separate and watch him walk out, just watch him walk past me unknowing to who I am. I needed to see that he truly doesn't know me. I sat so long it began to get dark out. Everyone is probably looking for me.

I finally convinced myself to get up and go home. There's no point in sitting here for hours. It won't change anything.

Maybe he'll recognize me.

Maybe it didn't work.

Maybe I could tell him what I saw.

Maybe we could work.

Maybe.

I walked for what felt like hours, barely able to move my feet. I finally arrived at our front door noticing many people inside through the windows. Somethings changed, something has happened. We only all meet together if something really bad happened.

I ran in the door as fast as I could.

"Bella! Where were you we were worried sick, we thought he found you."

" Relax James, I just went for a walk." I laughed heading for the drinks. I poured myself a big glass of fire whiskey taking it down in one sip before pouring the next. "So, What happened."

James slid a paper towards me.

They took the ministry.

"well, we're all fucked now." I laughed pouring another glass. "Dont worry, i'm figuring it out" I said before grabbing the bottle and walking to my room.

"Bells? Are you okay." Pandora whispered.

I hadn't even noticed she came.

"I heard what happened, what you had to do." she said with a sigh. "He loved you, you know." She added like that's supposed to help. "Love always finds eachother again."

"Don't worry Pans, like I said I have a plan."

"Bella. I know what that means." She said walking towards the bed sitting next to me. "You don't have to do this alone." She added.

I laughed. I wasn't able to stop laughing. I laughed so hard tears began streaming down my face to the point where I didn't even know if I was laughing or crying anymore. "That's where you're wrong." I said in between. "He's expecting a group. Not a single girl who has a broken heart"

She looked at me with tears pooling in her eyes before grabbing my glass and drinking it herself. I looked at her taking a giant sip from the bottle. I felt more tears coming down my face. "How did you know." I asked. "How did you know he loved me, I mean." I added.

She looked at me with a big smile. As if she's been waiting for me to ask this. "Everyone knew Bells. He looked at you like you were every star in the sky. He talked about you as if you were the only person in the world."

I laughed again. "We're talking about him like he's dead, but in reality it's me who is gone." I kept laughing and taking sips till my vision went blurry and my filter dissolved. "You know if he told me, if he just said it once." I kept saying. "I loved him too you know. Maybe we were both just too scared."

Silence fell over us as we passed the bottle back and forth. Pandora doesn't usually drink, but with me she is. "I have a plan you know." I smiled. "i'm thinking about joining them, take them down from the inside." I laughed "i'll probably die but maybe I can be a spy. I just don't know where to start, how does one just become a death eater. I know he wants James and me being pure blood and all, I know he'd love me to join."

She glanced at me. She's probably dreamed about this, she probably knows what's going to happen. I hate that she has that burden, I hate that she carries that.

"I know i'm not supposed to tell you things I see." She said serious. "But your plan isn't a bad one is all I will say." She said laying her head on my shoulder. "But be careful because I have seen many outcomes. Play your cards right, and tell James early."

"I'll tell him now, I'm drink enough." I laughed.

"I was hoping you'd say that. I'll go get him and stay in here with you guys."

James walked in worry spread across his face as I told him my plan. "I can't tell if you are the dumbest person I have met or an actual genius." He laughed turning away before turning back around. "You better be safe Bells." he added. "And tell me everything. I'm going to get you a bracelet and everytime you need me just touch it okay?" he added more and more worry coming the more he thought about it.

We went out and told the rest of the order. Many were against it but ultimately it was my decision. I agreed that if things got bad that I would leave the order, if there was any chance I could get caught, but i'm great and legillemancy. I know how to filter my mind for what people will see.

Regulus taught me.