Pardon

Chapter 6: Infection

When Bucky wakes you, the sun is already fully up.He stares down at you as you're waking up. He immediately sees that you look a lot better. Some good sleep was definitely what you needed and it's a huge relief for him to see you look a lot more like yourself now. He looks at you with a small, yet relieved smile and nods. "Morning...", you mumble. His face lights up a little. "Good morning", he speaks softly.

You look around a little. "What time is it? Is there still some time left for me to take a shower before we hit the road again?"

"It is. Just enough time for you to get a quick shower and have a little breakfast. I'm guessing it'll take us about two to three hours to get to the location we're heading next. So you've got time, no worries.", he explains. You nod your head, get up and grab some stuff from your bag: "So you already came up with a plan where we're going? Are we going to meet your contact person?" Bucky looks on as you get up and he nods his head: "Yeah, I have our route set. He's not too far away from here so I figured it would be safer to just go there instead of asking him on the phone. We should be able to get there quickly. And there's a few places along the route where we can stop and eat something if you want to.""Sounds good."

You then disappear in to the bathroom. You take a quick shower. But once you're finished, you don't turn off the water just yet. You leave it running so Bucky can't hear what you're doing. You take off the bandage of your arm carefully, hissing at the pain the process causes. The wound doesn't look good... Carefully you clean it, wrap the bandage around once more and take another pain killer. After you're done tending the wound, you take a deep breath. It hurts like hell and the pounding around the wound is killing you, but you don't want Bucky to know. Once you're done, you stop the water. Bucky stares at the bathroom door. He's very much aware of the fact that you're taking a lot longer than you usually would. You've been in there for quite some time now. He can't figure out what's happening inside, so he waits. His thoughts are all occupied with worrying about you as something seems off. He is very surprised that you're not out yet and his concerns start rising. All he wants right now is to see if you're alright. But all he can do right now is keep patiently waiting.

You finally open the door and leave the bathroom and walk out like nothing happened. Buckys eyes shoot up immediately. He can't help but get the feeling that you're trying to play it off like you're fine. He could tell right away that you are trying to hide something. So he looks at you with a suspicious expression. You notice him staring but decide to ignore it. Maybe he's on to you, maybe he's not. You walk over to your bag and pack everything back in. When you're finished, you're all packed up and ready to leave.

Bucky continues to stare at you as you pack your stuff. He can't hide the concern in his expression. He keeps trying to get a glimpse into your eyes to read them better and see what exactly is going on. But you're eyes are pretty much unreadable at this point. Because you can feel his eyes on you, you don't put your jacket on. You don't want him to see your struggles. Instead you just throw it over your bag. "Ready to leave?", you ask.

He nods his head and gets up from his seat. He's not showing any signs of letting up with his concern. "You okay?" "Of course", you lie. Bucky looks at you, not really buying your lie. "Yeah... You say that but you can't fool me that easily. You're not okay. You are obviously hiding something.""Whatever, Barnes... Just grab your stuff and head out here", you bite back.

"And what if I don't wanna just let this go like that?"

Buckys expression hasn't changed at all since you dismissed him. He even looks a little annoyed. He'd much rather that you be honest with him so that he can help you instead of having to keep dealing with your stubborn attitude.

"You are in no position to lecture me. I said I'm fine."

"And I still don't believe you.""Stop it.""Am I just supposed to let you walk around like nothing's wrong? It's that wound, isn't it? It's getting worse, am I right? Am I just supposed to let that wound get even worse until it turns into an infection or something like that? There's no way in hell I'm gonna let that happen." "Too bad, that already happened! Now get the fuck in the car and let us get away from here before Hydra find us!"

"Oh my god! You're better not be joking right now! That wound is an infect-?!"Bucky doesn't even finish yelling out the word infection when he realizes what exactly this means now. He had no idea your wound was this bad. All of the build up tension and annoyance suddenly disappears as worry and concern flood his body as he realizes that he really cannot afford to be just sitting here and yelling at you. "Wait... You're being serious, aren't you?"

You didn't want him to know. You don't know why you just spilled it out like that. It just came over you. But now it's out. The wound is infected. So what? There is literally nothing he can do about it. "I..." Bucky sees you hesitate for a moment. He wishes for this whole conversation to be some sort of sick joke or weird fever dream. But unfortunately, this is what is really going on: You have an infection. He stares at you but he doesn't say anything yet. He's still trying to process this.

"Can we please just go and not talk about it?" "Are you serious about this? You don't think it'll cause you more damage? It's an infection for Christ's sake!""So what? There's nothing we can do about it anyway...", you shrug your shoulders. "Are you kidding me!? It can be treated with antibiotics! You think there's nothing we can do about it?"

You start to get annoyed. This is exactly why you didn't want him to know. You don't want him in your business. You don't want him to care about you. You just want this whole situation to be over so that you never have to speak to him again. But now... Here you are. "And where do you think we could get them? Antibiotics are prescription only and we are currently on the run." "I don't know but we'll figure something out! I'm not letting you walk around with this infection like it's just no big deal. You can't just treat this like some minor inconvenience! I'm not having it!""Bucky! We ain't got time for some shit like this!""Then we need to make time!"He is clearly getting very pissed off right now. He's annoyed about your stubborn attitude on this and he can't believe that you are not taking this seriously. He's getting so frustrated that he doesn't even let you finish your sentence.

"I AM ALRIGHT!"

"You're clearly not! And I need to make sure that you realize that before this goes from being an infection to being something even worse!"He is starting to lose his patience with you and he's getting angrier by the minute. It's like he's not even hearing anything you're saying right now. All he can think about is the way you were acting last night and how that all adds up to the very bad state of your wound.

You take a moment to take a step back, take a deep breath and calm down. This yelling and fighting isn't gonna fix this problem. "Bucky... Listen to me..." Your voice is now very quiet. Bucky finally quiets down when he hears the way you're talking to him right now. He notices that your voice is completely different now. You've definitely calmed down, so he's going to calm down, too. "Okay... I'm listening."

"I know this looks bad... But I can take it. That's why I didn't want you to know. Please... Let this go. Let's meet with your contact person, find out what we need to know, finish this mission and go back home. I will get treated once we're safe. But right now... we simply are not safe. It is not safe to stay and it is not safe to look for a doctor."

Bucky stares at you as you talk. It definitely does sound reasonable when you put it like that. After taking his time to think this through, he finally nods his head. "Alright. But I'm keeping an eye on that wound."You nod in agreement. You don't really like this idea but you also know that this is the only way you'll find a compromise.