Pardon

Chapter 5: Nightmares

You take your time looking up all the files you could find about that guy. You can't shake the feeling that you are missing something.

A few hours pass like this.

Bucky is asleep the whole time. It seems like he really needed that rest. Although you get the feeling that he might be dealing with some sort of insomnia because his breathing has an occasional small catch to it. But for now, his eyes are shut and he looks peaceful.

Quietly you sneak through the room to get to the bathroom. You lean the door close to its frame, yet don't shut it completely. You let some water run over your face. The cut on your right arm is causing you more trouble than you like to admit to yourself. You could feel your skin under the bandage getting really hot and there is a constant pounding around the wound. You are still debating whether you should open up the bandage to look or if you shouldn't risk it.

While looking at yourself in the mirror, you notice that Buckys breathing starts to get a little uneven at times. His pace starts to increase a little bit before it slows down again and gets evened out. Almost like he is having a troubled dream. He hasn't opened his eyes though, so he is still asleep. You definitely don't want Bucky to know that you are struggling so you push the pain aside the moment you think he might wake up and go for a pain killer instead.

Bucky seems a little more restless than before. He starts tossing and turning around and his breathing keeps going up and down. And every once in a while he would even mutter something to himself. But it is too muffled for you to actually understand what he is saying.

As much as you despise him, you still respect his privacy. So once he starts talking in his sleep, you take the laptop, go outside of your room and place yourself on the front porch of the room. You wrap a blanket around yourself not to get too cold and keep the window to the room open so you could keep an eye on Bucky.

Buckys dreams seem to be getting more and more vivid. He is actually acting the whole thing out now. He is moving his arms around and his eyes are constantly twitching. His breathing gets pretty heavy and he starts to make more and more sounds. He isn't just mumbling random words anymore. But from the outside it is too hard to make out what he is actually saying. Every once in a while you turn around to take a look at him through the window. He is now really struggling and you are not sure if you could or should do something about it.

Bucky starts tossing and turning even more aggressively now. It's like he is trying to run away from something. But every time he starts to run in his dream, he keeps tripping or falling or running into things. His breathing gets out of rhythm and it actually looks like he is in serious pain right now. You try to understand what he is saying.

His breathing now has gotten really uneven and he is fighting really hard to get some air into his lungs. But he just can't seem to do it. Every once in a while you can hear him gasp for air. He starts crying and screaming in his sleep. And his voice sounds just so sad.

You finally heard enough. You get back into the room and walk up to the bed, kneel down so that your face is on the same height as his. You don't touch him just yet but you call out his name very carefully.

His body jerks in his sleep as you call out his name. At first he doesn't respond to it at all. But then he starts to stir and his movements slow down a little. And when he wakes up you can see sheer panic in his eyes. The moment he understands that it is you who kneels right next to him, he takes a deep breath and swallows back some tears. He stares at you, not being able to speak right now.