Pardon

Chapter 7: Realization

Bucky still looks uneasy but at this point he already seems much more relieved. He just looks at you for a second before he breaks the silence again.

"When you say, we will go home, does this mean you're gonna return to the team?"

"I don't know."

You get your stuff and leave the hotel room with Bucky following you. He closes the door, you check out and then walk up to the car.

"I haven't really made up my mind, yet", you just shrug this conversation off as you throw your bag into the car.

Bucky just nods his head, taking your answer in. The fact that you're not giving a clear 'no' is already giving him a sense of hope here. Since the blib, you have become a really reliable source of information for those of the Avengers who were still fighting their battles and a great help when it came to missions all over Europe. And although Bucky and you never really got around each other, he still knows to trust you. To have people like you on the team would be a great addition.

"Do you at least intend to stay in contact?"

You take the passenger seat.

"I mean... Sam always knows how to find me. That's why I'm here, right?"

Buckys face softens a little more after you mention the fact that you still consider Sam a friend. This means there actually is a slight possibility for you to officially join their team.

"Yeah. I guess he does."

"As for the rest of the team... I don't know..."

Bucky looks over at you and raises an eyebrow: "Why? What's with the hesitation?"

"Don't wanna talk about it."

Bucky notices how you say that and he just knows that there is more to this story than you're letting on. He doesn't want to push you. But this definitely bothers him.

"Can we talk openly for a moment?", he asks.

"If it's about the wound again, I don't wanna hear it."

Bucky looks down on your arm and sighs. You two really seem to be running in circles.

"It's not about the wound."

Bucky looks at you for a few seconds, just to see if you're really willing to listen. Because whenever he tries to have a serious, private conversation, you just block him off. But right now he is eager to get what he's been thinking of off his chest.

"Go on then."

Bucky gets very tense when he starts to talk. Almost like he doesn't really know what to say next.

"So... You say that you're undecided about returning to the team. But there was this hesitation for a moment. And that just made me wonder something."

"What?"

"Well, the thing is...", he takes a moment to think.

He takes a deep breath.

"Well... You say one thing but the way you're acting show that you aren't really planning to join the team. So why not be honest about it? Because this... It's kinda disappointing to me."

"Disappointing? To you?", you raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah... It's not like you're not taking this serious. That's not what I'm saying. Because you're always prepared for everything and you're so good on these missions. Not just this one. And you always help out the minute you get asked. So why not be part of the team? It sounds like you don't really have any intention in joining at all. Why not? You think you're too good or something?"