" That's not fair and you know it," He gritted, " You're not the only one who blames themselves for his death."
" He's dead because of me, Exodus!" I yelled before I could even stop myself, " It should've been me laying in the fucking casket, not...
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Now playing... Lovely, by Billie Eilish ft. Khalid ... MONTREAL, CANADA
" WHERE ARE THE BOYS AT?" Medjine questions as we enter into the vacant living room from the previous room that we were in. The TV had been switched off, with regarded snacks and drinks sitting aimlessly on the glass coffee table.
Nneka shrugs her shoulder, plopping down on the sofa with her hands crossed over her chest and her phone sitting on her lap. " They probably went outside or something,"
I sit beside Nneka, exhaling deeply as I anxiously run my fingers through my curls. after our conversation in the movie room, I felt a bunch of weight lifted off my shoulders, but there was still some weight left behind. It was evident in my body language, with the way I began flicking my newly fresh acrylic nails to self-soothe my mind.
At some point on this trip, Exodus and I would have to talk to one another about everything. It wasn't something we could continue to sweep underneath the rug and pretend like there wasn't a wall between us. However, the idea of having this long but necessary conversation is something that is eating away at me. I wasn't ready, how could I be?
but I can't pretend like this isn't the right thing that we need to do. I don't know what we are, I don't even know if " we" are even a thing. though we never had sex, the emotional and physical connection is still there. Our souls are intertwined like the seeds of time in the past, future, and present. "soul ties", as one would call it.
There's a certain level of resistance that is being played between logic and heart. On one hand, my heart wants nothing to do with any of this; and that's because of my loyalty to Joey. Nothing could come between us, even if death won the battle for him. Joey is still my big brother, he is still a part of my life, and I don't want to disappoint him by doing something that I'll regret.
Medjine notices, as she sits in the corner of the L-shaped couch with a pillow on her lap. " What's wrong baby?"
I give her a reassuring smile, pulling myself out of the deep thoughts that plagued my conscience. " Nothing, I'm okay."
She frowns," Are you sure?"
I nod, pulling at my sleeves. " Yeah, I'm good. Just a little tired, that's all,"
" You're picking at your nails again," Nneka interjects, gesturing to my fingers picking at the dead skin around my cuticles. I ball my fists to hide them, keeping a tight-lipped smile. " It's nothing,"
" Okay, whatever you-"
" Hey, fat head!" Mateo says boisterously, a goofy grin making its way on his lips as Nneka groans in annoyance. " What do you want?"
He scrunched up his nose, folding his arms over his chest as he stood over Nneka, who looked anything but amused. " Damn, I can't say hi now? rude ass,"
