" That's not fair and you know it," He gritted, " You're not the only one who blames themselves for his death."
" He's dead because of me, Exodus!" I yelled before I could even stop myself, " It should've been me laying in the fucking casket, not...
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Now Playing.. I don't want to do this anymore, by xxxtencacion ... TORONTO, CANADA
" IT FEELS SO WEIRD being back home," Nneka sighs, taking a sip of her red wine as she lays on the floor of my living room. " It doesn't even feel like I'm really back, honestly."
I nod in agreement, pulling my oversized shirt over my thighs as I sat crisscrossed on my sofa. "yeah, it does feel weird."
It's been a little over four weeks since we left Montreal, and in the past few days of being home it feels like tunnel vision. Being all the way here, and Exodus being all the way in Harlem... It's challenging, especially when we're just in the beginning stages of our journey together.
But, nonetheless, we've been working it out. We talk everyday, we're on the phone every single night, we talk about our dreams and aspirations, we send paragraphs & Bible scriptures when one of us is having a hard time accepting the distance— it's an effort, and that's what's important. Long distance relationships aren't hard, it just takes a level of communication, commitment, and understanding.
Nneka returned to her usual routine as the business owner of her boutique, just as I have returned to my paintings and drawings. However, I've been nothing short of having blockages. In the times that I've tried to force myself to work, none of my creations has ever been finished. Nneka stopped by today — just in the midst of my artist meltdown — with a bottle of wine and some box of chocolates, a delicious treat that we both needed to ease our spirits into tranquility.
" Mm," Nneka hums, sitting her wine glass down onto the coffee table. " Have you heard from Med?"
I frown, glancing over my shoulder at her. " No, have you?"
" No," she exhales sharply, scratching the side of her bonnet. " And it's starting to freak me the hell out. You know Med isn't like that,"
I shrug, interlacing my fingers around the glass. " Maybe she's taking a break from everything. We all have our moments where we decide to ghost the world,"
" I don't know.. like the last conversation we had was about a week ago, and it was when I invited you and her for some drinks, but she said she wasn't feeling too well. I asked if she needed anything and she said that she would be okay,"
My frown deepens, " That's not like her at all,"
If one of us weren't feeling well, Medjine would stop by and nurse us back to health. If she was sick, she would call and tell us. however, we haven't heard from her since we got back. that raises red flags.
