We all have choices.

Matter

"I want to continue our arrangement, sleeping in separate rooms."

Carina looks directly into Maya's eyes and says.

Her voice might be soft, but Maya could see her determination in Carina's eyes.

"You want...um..." Maya stutters and being confused by Carina's request , unsure where to start. "Can you tell me why?"

"I'm not matter to you." Carina said sadly, her eyes filled with tears. "I come second."

"What are you talking about?" Maya couldn't believe that Carina feel this way. "You're matter to me! You're everything to me!"

She quickly walks to her Italian, but she stops couple feet away cause Carina shakes her head saying no.

"No. I come second." Carina sniffs and says with a choked voice, "I begged you to see a therapist for months. You ignored me, working overtime to avoid me, hiding things from me, telling me that I have control issue."

"How could that means I choose you forever? That's what you said to me on our wedding, Maya."

The scenes of every arguments from the past couple months flashes through her mind once again. The one at the rooftop, the one at the bathroom in 19, the one at the stock room of the clinic, and a lot of in their apartment. In their home.

"..." Maya stays silent, unable to retorts Carina's any single words.

"After amnesia, you started to meditate. Yes, you changed. But the reason you changed is I would probably divorce you if you didn't. You don't want to divorce cause I'm pregnant, and you want this baby." Carina continues.

"That's not..." Maya quickly stops herself and lower her voice, carefully not to yelling at Carina. "I don't want to divorce cause I love you, Carina. I love you and our baby."

"I know you love me, Maya. I do." Carina wipes her tears and continues, "But the part broke my heart the most is I need to choose between our marriage or my own happiness. That is not supposed to happen. If I weren't pregnant, you'd probably remain the same, unwilling to change, keep avoiding me and our marriage. Baby is the reason you changed, not me."

"I want to matter." Carina says firmly. Her eyes are still watery, but her gazes are so firm.

"I want to be your priority, not coming second to baby, to captaincy, and chaos. I can't live with chaos anymore. I still love you very much, bella. I can't watch the woman I love keep hurting herself, and you will be in pain if I keep pressuring you to get help.  So I chose to give both of us some space."

Carina walks to the main bedroom, leaving Maya standing in place.

"You are matter to me."

Maya's words pauses the Italian, standing near the door of the main bedroom.

"You're matter to me." Maya turns and looks into Carina's eyes, saying with sadness.

"Goodnight." the Italian says and closes the door.

Maya stands in place, staring at the door to Carina's room silently for a while before returning to her room.

How did things turn out like this?

Why can't we go back to the happy time?

Is it why Carina cried last night? She already made up her mind yesterday?