Love Lockdown (Sammy Wilk)

Chapter Nineteen

"Come on you take forever." Nate groans as I get out of the shower. A towel wrapped around my body. "Woah this is the first time I have seen you in anything less than clothes. Nice legs." He winks, I grab my clothes off the bed and slide my underwear on with out removing the towel.

I ignore his little comments as I put my bra on, my back to him. Once my private areas were covered I dropped the towel, tying my unbrushed hair up in a bun as I get dressed. Nate impolitely staring at my body as I get dressed.

"Can you stop staring at me, please." I roll my eyes at him sliding my Adidas wind blockers over my legs. He smirks and lays down on my bed staring at the ceiling.

"Do you and Sammy ever have sex?" He asks and I laugh.

"In sophomore year, we were at this party and ended up having sex. Actually who I lost my virginity too. But he doesn't know that he took it. But no, never have since that one time. Why?"

"He's fucking lucky, you're smokin' hot. He doesn't deserve you. You deserve someone who would give you the world, not make you hate the world." He smiles sheepishly at me once I'm fully clothed. A white tank top and my very comfy pants.

"Thanks." I smile letting my hair down, starting to brush it out and french braid it. Putting on just some mascara before turning around to Nate. "I look like death, please tell me that no cute guys will be there to pick us up."

"Sam told me that Matthew is coming to pick us up, you look lovely. Now can we go? It's a hour drive to the airport."

"But the boys aren't here yet to pick us up." I shrug looking out of my window. Gilinsky's jeep pulling into my driveway. "Never mind let's go." I frown seeing the two boys who I really wish weren't going.

He grabs my bags and I grab my messenger bag with all the stuff I'll need on the plane. I follow him out to the car and claim my seat in the front. I already had a massive headache, opening the glove box pulling out a bottle of Advil that Jack keeps in here, taking one out. Sam hands me his Arizona and I frown a bit before swallowing the pill and keeping his Arizona.

.

.

.

.

I of course didn't have the privilege of sitting with Nate, well he was the last seat on our row, I had the window and Sammy was in the middle.

"Are you nervous for California?" He asks me and I stare at him for a moment before sighing. His voice is so angelic.

"Not really. Just sucks it has to start out with us hating each other." I shrug putting in one headphone but no music for now.

"I don't hate you, Melanie. Far from ever hating you." He sighs running a hand through his hair. I frown at him.

"It doesn't have to start out with you hating us, Melanie." Jack G. Comments from his seat in front of me.

He's right.

But I'm not ready to forgive either of them. Maybe G, but even he would have a lot to do to earn my trust back.

"He's right, Mel." Nate sighs looking at me. I just close my eyes.

"I know he's right. But it's a little hard to get over people lying and cheating on you. The feeling of betrayal just does not go away. It's impractical of me to forgive either of them. They will just think because I forgave them so quick that they can keep doing it."

Sam bites his lip and looks down at his phone. I follow his eyes and see a text from Nash asking him how things were going with getting me back.

"That's not even it, Melanie. You're just being stubborn. We learned from our mistakes. You have made mistakes too. You've lied to many people before, but they forgave you because you knew you were sorry. You're hypocritical. You cheated on your ex sophomore year with Sam. So don't act like you're innocent." Gilinsky snaps at me. "Not everything goes your way, sorry to break it to you. But if you don't want to forgive us, that's fine. It just shows how ignorant you can be."

I didn't say anything but put my head down in shame.

"That was a little harsh Gilinsky." Johnson scolds him.

"Yeah bro, even if it is true it wasn't your place to throw it in her face." Sam agrees with Johnson.

I started to feel bad, but not for myself. I felt bad that I treated my ex that way, I felt bad that I am treating to of the most important people this way.

I felt sick to my stomach.

"You okay?" Sam whispers in my ear wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I pull my hood over my face and just stare at the seat underneath my legs.

I started to remember the dark times of sophomore and freshmen year. Even junior year. Three of my high school years I was left in the darkness of my depression.

I thought I got rid of it, everything was going great senior year. I had forgotten that my life had been so terrible. I was happy.

I remember what it felt like to sit in my room at three am wishing I was good enough to be worth something. Crying myself to sleep every night. Wanting to die.

I promised myself I wouldn't go back to that place. I will never go back there.

Taking a deep breath, I sit up straight and look over at Sam.

"I forgive both of you. I am being self centered. But Sam we can't get back together. At least not right now. Maybe soon, but I just can't be in a relationship with you right now." I say honestly.

As much as I wanted to be with Sam, I knew that I wouldn't be able to be comitted to him right now. It was to soon to put that much trust back into him.

"I understand." He murmurs, grinning. "I'm just happy you forgave us."

"Me too." Jack grins peeking over his seat at me. I smile.

Sam pulls me into his side and kisses my forehead. I smile and close my eyes.

Hopefully this is going to work out and they won't make me regret it.

(A/N- so I just wanted to say thank you guys for being great.

Also, I want to say if someone is stealing stuff from my stories, they can get in big trouble. It is against the law. Copyright laws are and will be enforced.

Thank you guys :)

xxx Chyanneee)