The dim glow of the street lights and the cars driving by, being the only light source as they barely lightened up the room, as Ghost laid in his bed, curled up trying to get some amount of sleep as it was 4am already and he hadn't got 1 hour of sleep this night.
But he didn't feel sleepy. He felt numb. The whole pain he felt this past few months made him feel completely numb, inhumane. He completely lost the comprehension of what was real and what wasn't. So he just laid in his bed, not moving, not doing anything except going to the bathroom if needed and sometimes eating if he can even get a full meal down without feeling nauseous.
"Cmon, stand up, Simon," you repeated for the second time now as you were standing at the edge of the bed, looking at his terrible condition. "You've got to stand up," your voice harshend as you grew impaitend since no reply in any form came from him. "Go away," he finally mumbled.
"No, I'm not going to go away, get up, your team needs you stand up!" You yelled. Ghost let out a groan as he finally sat up from the bed, looking straight at you. "I can't do it," he whispered to himself as he looked down. A gentle sigh escaped your lips as you walked to the other side of the bed right beside him.
"Cmon Simon, we both know you can do this. You're a strong man. Don't let this destroy you or your career and your team. They need you right now. They can't do this without you. " You tried to motivate him as you held into his shoulder. "Please, for me?" You begged him as you gently placed his fingers under his chin to make him look at you. "Please," you repeated.
And you had convinced him, as if a surge of happiness shot through his body as he got ready, packed his bags and took a shower and got dressed into his uniform. You watched him by the doorstep as he he got dressed, a smile placed on your face. Ghost noticed you were staring as he looked back at you.
"What are you smiling about?" He asked as he buttoned up his uniform jacket. You walked up to him as you carrased his chest. "I've missed seeing you this excited, I know you love your job even with all the violence and stuff," you explained as a tear rolled down your cheek.
Concern crossed Ghosts face as he wiped away the tear, "What's wrong Y/n, why are you crying?" He asked worriedly. "Nothing Simon," you let out with a shaky sigh. "Just promise whatever happens, stay strong," you said just in time as the teammates who picked Ghost up honked in front of the house.
"Go," you said before he could even process what you said. He kissed your forehead. "I'll see you soon." he said as he left the bedroom in a rush, grabbing his bags on the way. He looked back to the hallway, but he didn't see you like he always used to do. But before he could even fully rethink it, Soap already invited himself in as he stood in front of him.
"Wow, I didn't think you would have made it out of bed today. You wouldn't even make it to the door since Y/n died," Soap exclaimed about the positive change. "Yeah, Y/n helped me ge-" Ghost cut himself off as he just processed the last three words Soap said.
"Since Y/n died,"
The words repeated in his head, his heartbeat fastened as he dropped his bags, running straight back into the bedroom. He hoped to see you there, standing in front of him with that beautiful smile on your face he just saw a few minutes ago as Soap immediately ran after him.
"Did you say Y/n helped you? What's wrong, Simon?" He asked him as he walked up beside him to see his horrified face. "She was just here, she talked with me, she helped me get up this morning, where is she?" Ghost mumbled in a rush as if he was out of breath.
Soap held into his shoulders as he studied his face, tears began to roll down Ghosts cheeks as he looked up at Soap. "She's dead Simon, it's been 4 months, she died in a car accident, remember? You've got to get over it, " he tried to tell him.
But Ghost didn't want to listen. He just couldn't accept that you're dead when he just saw you a few minutes ago, right in front of him. "But I saw her," he repeated, his voice breaking. "It was not real," Soap said, trying to somehow help him.
And yet he still didn't believe him, it felt so real, he could still feel you touch his skin, your hand caressing his clothed chest and your soft skin as he kissed forehead. It felt too real to be fake. But sadly it wasn't real and that he had to accept, you died in a car accident and he wasn't in the country when it happened.
He was on a mission, he regret ever going. He thought he could have somewhat prevented the outcome if he was there. So you were alive today, with him just like he needed you to be. He wished he could kiss and hug you one last time and tell you how sorry he was, but he can't.
A/N: Don't judge me for any mistakes. I wrote this at like 2am and fell asleep while writing it and then continued when I woke up. I'm too lazy to correct it.
