Break me until there's nothing left

18

Hanni

Panic.

Panic was what I was feeling as we made our way to the Kim's house, where my mother has Minji.

Fear was completely taking over me as well, I can't even come close to imagining the hell that Minji is going through right now under my mother's grasp.

When she sent me the attached image, I had felt my heart drop to seeing how bad Minji was looking.

She looked so beat up and it was breaking my heart so bad. How could my mother have a heart to do that?

I needed to save Minji from her as soon as possible, I had to get her out of there.

But what if I'm not capable of saving her? What if my effort is for nothing?

I felt my heart racing and pounding against my chest, I was finding it hard to breathe. A part of me was scared that I wouldn't get there in time.

My body felt weak as my chest started to press against my thumping heart. My breathing became staggered as I started to look for something to hold on to.

"Danielle, try to calm her down." I barely heard Haerin say as she looked at Danielle through the rear view mirror.

Danielle who brought me in to a hug looked back at Haerin. "What does it look like I'm doing." She said, snapping back at her.

The whole situation has put all three of us at the mere edge of sanity and calmness.

Everything around me was just crumbling down, completely ignoring the glares that they threw at each other through the rear view mirror.

All I could think of is Minji, Minji, Minji.

What if I hadn't left her alone? Would've my mother still been able to get to her? Was this my fault?

Tears could only fall from my face as the danger Minji is in settles in. How did things get so bad?

"Hanni, calm down, please. The police will be there once we arrive. Minji will be okay and she'll be safe." She said, I wish it was easy to believe the same way it was so easy to say.

Danielle only pulled me closer to her, trying to comfort me so that I could calm down, which wasn't helping, not even a little bit.

But I appreciated the effort she was giving.

The only way I'll calm down is having Minji out of my mother's grasp, and making sure that she's okay.

I couldn't help but put some of the blame on myself, as my mother was letting me make a decision.

But, what was she expecting my decision to be? For me to go with her this time? To leave Minji behind like she always has wanted?

No, never.

I made my decision to stay here with Minji, and that's what it'll always be. I will never choose her over Minji.

And that's my final choice. It's the decision I made the first time, and it's the decision I'll make every time.

But what if I'm not allowed to make my own choice? What if she makes me choose something I don't want?

What if it's the choice that is best for both my safety and Minji's?

I could only cry harder against Danielle's shoulder as the thoughts kept running through my mind.