Break me until there's nothing left

6

Minji

I haven't felt a single thing towards Hanni in years, but how come fear took over my body when I saw her falling?

Whatever anger I felt towards Hanni in that moment diminished into thin air. As I had started to....care about her well being.

Worry filled my senses as I kept looking at her sleep, it's been hours since she fell asleep and a part of me can't stop thinking about it.

"They'll be fine, Minji." I heard Dr. Choi say behind me. I didn't look at her as I kept my eyes on Hanni.

The more I looked at her, the more something stirred inside of me.

"But, what I do want to say is, she isn't in a great shape, Minji. I can't assure you that this won't happen again." She said and my brows furrowed.

I haven't seen Hanni in that state in years, not even with the things I've done to her has she reacted that way.

Her face looked so peaceful as she slept, so calm. I don't think I've seen her like this in so long either. It was tugging at my heart in a way it shouldn't.

"Take care of them both, Minji." She said.

My eyes wondered down to her stomach when she said that, the baby bump was more than visible. How come I didn't notice before?

Was my mind so blinded by my rage and anger?

How didn't I notice? And why didn't Hanni tell me? That angered me so much, I could've hurt the baby because she kept it to herself.

I can hurt Hanni all I want, but I'll never want to hurt our baby.

A part of me doesn't want to hurt her anymore, she's the mother of my child for god sake! I can't let anything bad happen to her.

But the other part of me, wants to hurt her until she's shaking in fear, I want her to suffer the same way I did.

I want to destroy her, the same way I was destroyed. I didn't deserve any of it to happen to me.

I have to protect this baby from any danger, even myself, I'll have to stop all of this, just for the sake of this baby.

"And you, Minji. As your doctor and friend, I will tell you that it's not getting any better for you, your condition is worsening." She said and my head snapped back to look at her.

"You prescribed me these stupid pills, Yena! You said it would make things better. But nothing has been better!" I snapped at her, I felt my blood boiling in anger.

Her eyes looking at me, challenging me.

"You're blaming me?! You're the one who doesn't want to get better, I told you that I could help you find a physiatrist for this, you rejected my lending hand, Minji." Dr. Choi said.

"I rejected it, because I'm not in need of one! I'm not crazy if that's what you're trying insinuate." I said as I looked away from her.

"I'm not trying to insinuate anything, Minji, I want to help you but you're not letting me." She said and my brows furrowed.

I looked down at the pills in the palm of my hand, aren't these supposed to be helping me? Why are they making things worse?

"You're hurting her, Minji. You're doing it because of your past and it's not fair. She nor this baby you're both expecting deserve it. I can't even blame your past, it's you, Minji." She said, my eyes looking at her with a glare telling her to keep quiet.