𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕- 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞

April 2022

As I laid on my bed, throbbing tension had built up in the back of my head when I least expected it.  All my body could do was chain my rotting head to abscessed pain that would worsen as I levitated and crashed to an abyss. My motionless body was dragged down from the heights that I had floated to and the motive of my dad coming into my room paused my sinking and raised me, jolting me onto my bed. "I'm gonna run some errands; do you want to come with me?" My dad asked. "Mhm." I accepted his invitation, silently.

"I was thinking, we could stop by the mall when we're done grocery shopping, would you want to go?" My dad offered when we were on the road, I enjoyed going to the thrilling commercial center nearby and today my languor declined the outing. My head craved pools of caffeine and tainted pills to soothe the aching membranes. "Could we go to a gas station instead? My head hurts." I said with a gloomy sigh. "Yes, I'll get you coffee." He granted, driving us to a gas station that was a couple of miles away.

Back in my bed, I let the mocha flavored remedy heal the sores that congested my head. I stared at the ceiling letting my pain subside, wishing it didn't return the way it rose abruptly. Later I learned this was more than a headache.

April 7, 2022

My pounding headaches maintained their excruciating status and became migraines. However, the pain didn't seem horrid this morning. As usual, I attended my science class for first period and ate an apple pastry and banana I picked at a cart near the stairways. My sores muted themselves, numbing my mind as I sat mildly. My science class was brief and the next thing I knew, I was in my third period English class, perched with an assignment in front of me. I focused on the paper, reading, that I had to write a list of objects that I would take with me if I were awakened to instantly leave my house. I listed things like my phone, charger, hygiene products, a hairbrush, food, and clothes. I noted the objects I wanted to bring for sure and then I felt an erupting sensation on my temple following a river of nausea that rumbled and emerged up my throat, vomit flooding into my mouth. I would've forced the vomit away but, the vomit gushed out of my mouth and poured onto the tiled floor. I rushed to the trashcan across the room where I threw projectile vomit up on the path, soaking my assignment, two estimated desks, and the sequent tiles on the ground. I poured the rest of my vomit into the trashcan and searched a look of approval on the teacher's face before I left the classroom. "Just go." One student urged. I left my mess behind and went to the restroom, wiped the access lumps of wasted food off of my damped shirt and mouth. I looked at myself in the mirror, both ashamed and in shock at what just occurred.

One trip to the clinic impelled a trip to the emergency room. I was screaming bloody murder in my grandma's car after undergoing rounds of vomiting, that induced an explosive storm in my depths. In my hospital bed, I learned about the condition "Hypertension." A condition where blood pushes against the artery walls with high force. Fluids in my spine had high pressure which caused my migraine. I was going to spend a total of three days in the hospital because they wanted to check if was going to be okay with my condition. It was undeniably one of the worst times of my life and yet I was fine and alive. I guess that counted for something.

-3 days later-

I returned to school in better condition, my nausea stopped, and my migraines had lessened. I coped with the TV in my room and the sodas and iced coffees I got to drink. The escapade of it all was blindsiding, that one small fragment of pain could renovate to an inferno entirely. I made it through the school day with ease and now I was transitioning to my math class after being at lunch. My classmates were waiting outside of the classroom, we would wait for the teacher to unlock the door for us. "Mi amor, what happened to us?" A voice flirted, and a hand lifted my chin. I met Lucian's eyes and laughed. He waved a hand, signaling that he was teasing me. I smiled locking in his honey eyes that were heartily smiling at mine. Why was he doing this? "I heard you threw up and left early." He said, minding the incident. I wanted to ask him how he knew, even when there was one person who noticed and then I remembered that student is in the same class as us right now. The teacher passed through the pack of students and inserted her keys into the lock, unlocking the door for us. When we were at tables, Lucian asked me, "What period was it?" "Third period."

Why is it so dark when you're not here
It's dangerous how wrecked I am
Save me because I can't get a grip on myself

Listen to my heartbeat
It calls you whenever it wants to
Because within this pitch black darkness
You are shining so brightly

Give me your hand, save me, save me
I need your love before I fall (Fall), fall (Fall)
Give me your hand, save me, save me
I need your love before I fall, fall.