May 2022
One day, just one more day in this structure would be sufficient to me. To see my favorite group of people one more time. I know the year was destined to end, that this disk was meant to end and unroll to a new course. Then again, I think about the people that I have to leave behind, what I would do with the absence of them. Having ghosts curse my corners and find myself reflecting in their mirrored selves. They're unsure of what to do with me and neither am I. The group that I think of doesn't just feature Lucian or Jia, but my friends Kamari and Lauren who I endeared gravely. I don't mention them a lot but they're close to me and they made my year memorable, more than anything. We shared laughs and spoke intimately about our lives and avocations. My friendship with Kamari stretched back to seventh grade when were in the same gym class. I was introduced to her by a friend and our bond strengthened ever since. The night of the dance as I was waiting anxiously for Jia's arrival, I was also waiting for Kamari's. I heard her say that she was going to the dance, clearer than what I thought Jia said. I was hurt more when I didn't see her.
𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢 ❣︎
Hey, where are you?
Read 7:16 pm
I'm going out rn with my mom. Why?
Weren't you going to the school dance tonight?
I was... I'm so sorry. I lost track of time.
Oh.
Milena I'm truly sorry, I would've gone with you.
Don't let this ruin your night, I know I won't be there, but you always find a way to have fun so have the best night of your life, you're amazing and there will be people who will join you. Don't miss me too much.
Yk I can't, and well I'll try for you. :)
I did not and I lived my night with Lucian out of everyone. Lauren didn't go and this was true to me. I met her this year, and I didn't know what I was going to do without her, she is the kindest person I've known. She is my comfort, and we were the ones who had intimate interactions. She was there for me when I was struggling with my health, when I was in and out of the hospital, she knew when I started to have symptoms and she would check up on me as I was recovering. She would detect negative emotions in my face and ask me if I was alright. She was the second person who asked about my condition after I came back from the hospital. I could say repeatedly that I cherished her with everything in me. I'm going to miss her, and I'm devastated that I won't see her next year. I love Jia, Lauren, and Kamari and our seasons together will remain unforgettable. Will we be strangers in the future?
My season with Lucian will be unforgettable too. I ask for one more day mostly because of him. My heart had him locked in and I wished to know if he felt the same. I wished that I could read his mind and see what he thinks of me. He was sealing the cracks of my heart meticulously and efficiently and I didn't have the heart to tell him. I couldn't. We don't have a strong bond for me to open my feelings, rejection would numb me, and I knew better to not be overconfident. I laid in my bed at night and dreamed. I dreamed of a distant universe and this one altogether. The winks, smiles, smirks, voices, breaths, and touches. All of it coming from him and me. Residing in our fourth period where the sequences happened. I couldn't construct this, I breathed it...
"Is this a bracelet? Where did you get it? " He glanced at the pink curled rubber band that I wore on my wrist. "It's a rubber band." I told him, bluntly. "What is it then? A wrist necklace?" He joked. Lorenzo laughed at his lame joke, and I shook my head. After Lucian was composed, he kept on looking at it and asked, "Can I, have it?" I fell silent. I would be the one rejecting his request alternatively. If it had been the two of us alone at the bench again then I would've given it to him in a heartbeat. Lorenzo was watching us next to me. "No." I muttered. Nothing much happened, we regained our focus on the work we had to do. I regret it. That wasn't a dangerous stunt I could've given him the bracelet, rubber band, whatever that thing was. I should've, I wanted to, and there is no time for that. For us. Would he disappear?
Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day, if I can hold your hands
Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day (Just one day)
If only we can be together.
YOU ARE READING
𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮
RomanceMilena couldn't tell you the definition of love, she did not know how she wanted to receive it nor how to give love in a romantic relationship. She was in 6th grade when she learned about Lucian Feliciano, her friend's former crush. He was a silly c...
