𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟓- 𝐈 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲

                            𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐
I desperately wanted Lucian to be the right person in my life. I really did. The universe was oblivious to the need of his existence with mine and I couldn't forgive it. Why couldn't it have been him? Why did I have to lose him when he was all I wanted? This was the first time in my entire lifeline that I had ever let myself ache for a person. I would be sure to never allow myself to rive again. No matter if it was obsession, delusion, or jealousy that was destroying the plan that was designed for me. I wouldn't have him tear me down because of the desertion his universe was targeting to mine. But I swore I could find him anywhere.

After ripping the invisible string that connected us in my dream, I began to visualize him every place I went. I would see him in the skyline, street signs, mirrors, lights, labels, and vintage tints. He was gone and yet I could see him in them. I wished there was a way that we could be reunited, not just in my dreams but in reality. My reality had been a lie and I had to live in one where he wasn't with me. I accepted the reality once and for all. I figured that he wasn't the one for me and that I would be happier somewhere else. This was a love that people wouldn't comprehend. I missed him every single day of this summer and I want to end the summer by putting my love behind me, in the past where it will be buried. The mourning came alive. That wound of me has torn and bled through me, the scarred remains were dead. One day the scars will revive.

I still love you, I promise
Nothin' happened in the way I wanted
Every corner of this house is haunted
And I know you said that we're not talkin'
But I miss you, I'm sorry

I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse
Everything I know brings me back to us
I don't wanna go, we've been here before
Everywhere I go leads me back to you.