Wings of the Apocalypse

Chapter 13: Facing the darkness

Chapter 13

Facing the darkness

Lily stared out of the balcony as the cold night air brushed past her. All around her was silence but she knew she wasn’t exactly alone, the bodies of the soldiers were only a few feet below from where she was standing.

The day had been long and seemed to have never ended for Lily. She’d manage to find a small notepad and pen by rummaging through the desk at the side of the room. So for pretty much the entire day she spent doodling pictures of Abaddon. 

Of course she could never truly capture the picture of Abaddon in her pictures she was never really talented when it came to art. So every picture she drew ended up being thrown into the waste bin near the edge of the bed.

She was constantly worried to where Abaddon had gone and if he would ever return back. Perhaps his plan was to leave her here to starve herself to death.  Lily shuddered as the cold wind whipped her face.

Lily turned around and walked back into the bedroom being careful to avoid the glass on the floor. The room was not much warmer than outside due to all the heat being let out by the broken glass panel. She’d wondered if she had decided to venture out the room that she could have found some place else to sleep.

But the thought of what could possibly lay outside sent shivers down her spine. She was beginning to become very paranoid of the outside world were death leaked everywhere. She was already beginning to smell the rotting corpses from outside because of the warm sun that sped up the rate of decomposing bodies.

 She wished that she was mentally and physically stronger than she was. Anyone else would have either killed themselves already or marched outside and already found somewhere else to sleep. Lily wished she had the guts to do either of those options , she already knew suicide was not a realistic opinion, it didn’t mean escape or freedom, it meant eternal suffering which wasn’t much different to how she felt now.

 The feeling of loneliness was the most upsetting thing she had ever felt in her life. She was always used to having her best friends or family only just a call away but now she had nothing and for all she knew the chances were that they was already dead.

And Jack who had his life so cruelly ripped from him in a matter of hours. This whole experience would have been so much easier to deal with if she had Jack by her side, they could of spent hours simply talking and they could both instantly forget what was happening to the rest of the world. But instead she was forced to suffer this torment alone and that’s what she hated the most.

 Lily clenched her fist, she was so angry and upset it was beginning to be difficult to control. Days lasted forever and time didn’t seem to exist anymore. There was light for hours on end then darkness that were all there ever was for Lily.

She’d even began begging and praying for mercy upon her but nothing happened.

Lily walked over to the bed, climbing on top of it and stared at the roof. Her body felt so tired and weak despite the fact she hadn’t done anything all day.

Lily rolled over to her side as tears ran down both her cheeks. She couldn’t stop her uncontrollable tears anymore they just flowed so effortlessly almost like snowflakes in the winter.

Lily let out a sign, snow that was just another of the millions of things she’d never see again.

She didn’t want to continue her possibly last few days of life like this but how could she without anyone else to share it with?

She could almost picture it in a romantic way if she wasn’t stuck by herself.

Lily closed her eyes and pictured it all almost instantly.

 She was standing on a hill while the sun sank below the horizon and before her laid the ruins of a large cities, flames rising up higher than most of the still standing buildings. And beside her… Jack holding her hand while they watched the rest of the world simply fade away right before their eyes.

It all seemed so beautiful and disturbing at the same time but calming. She could stand there forever just watching while Jack stood proud at her side. She wouldn’t be scared or frightened.

She could imagine herself and jack just standing there hand in hand till the night and then watch the stars till morning.

More tears wept from Lily’s eyes.  Why couldn’t she experience the apocalypse with someone else, anyone instead of being the only person. She didn’t want to be the last human standing at the edge of the world.

Lily curled herself up into a ball on the bed trying to keep herself warm. She wrapped the covers around her arms, she had no idea it was going to be this cold at night.

She wanted to dream to lose herself in a fantasy, anything just to avoid reality for a couple hours she didn’t want to face it any longer than necessary.

 Lily didn’t know how much longer she could possibly hold out in this dying earth she mentally and physically wasn’t stronger enough to live like this for a long period of time how long would it be till she sank into a deep enough depression that she eventually was able to end of her life?

Or would she starve or dehydrate long before that could happen?  It make Lily feel sick even thinking about it.  

She only wished that it would all be over soon.