[ ᴛᴀᴠʏᴠɪs ᴏɴᴇsʜᴏᴛs ]

its not what I meant (Pt 2) (tw)

Tw: mentions of abuse and rape. and cheating.

...

My head lay nestled in the warmth of Travis's lap, the soft glow of the television casting flickering shadows across the room. The events of the day still danced vividly in my mind, a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions threatening to consume me. Travis's gentle fingers weaved through my freshly straightened blonde locks, a comforting touch that anchored me to the present moment. 

He didn't push me to speak, but I felt the weight of unspoken words pressing against my chest, begging for release.

"Tay, it's getting a little late. Do you want me to heat up the meatballs or order you something?" His voice, a soft murmur, interrupted the silence, his fingers never ceasing their tender caress through my hair.

I shook my head, the mere thought of food sending waves of nausea rippling through me. Travis sighed softly, a gentle acknowledgment of my silent refusal, before returning his gaze to the television screen. His eyes flickered down to me occasionally, a silent reassurance that he was there, patiently waiting for me to open up.

"You look lost in thought, Tay. Are you okay?" His concern was palpable, his fingers tracing 

comforting shapes along my back.

I could only manage a feeble shake of my head in response. No, I wasn't okay.

"Oh, hon..." His voice trailed off, his eyes filled with a mixture of compassion and worry.

"I... I want to explain it to you, but I don't know how..." I murmured, feeling small and vulnerable 

in his embrace.

"It's okay. Take your time," Travis urged, his voice a soothing balm against the storm raging within me.

"I can't... I'm going to cry again," I confessed, tears threatening to spill over as I buried my face into his shirt, seeking solace in his comforting presence.

"Shhh... It's okay. I'm here," Travis whispered, his hand continuing its gentle rhythm on my back, 

a silent promise of unwavering support.

"Okay... Okay," I whispered, mustering the courage to speak.

"Joe... Joe wasn't very nice. Well, he was... It was complicated. When he drank, he always got so mad. It scared me. And then I found out he cheated too, but somehow we both stayed. And when you got grumpy earlier, I..." My voice faltered, the memories threatening to engulf me in a tidal wave of pain and sorrow. The dinner I made him. The blood on my shirt. Crying for hours at Selena's house. The Elf lip gloss. When I told him about it. Being pushed into a wall. How he almost raped me. When he left then came back. 

Travis's grip tightened around me, a silent indication of his unwavering solidarity.

"He... He hurt me," I finally admitted, the words tumbling out in a choked whisper, each syllable heavy with the weight of unspeakable anguish.

"He what?" Travis's voice was suddenly sharp, tinged with a fury that sent a shiver down my spine.

"I think I still have a mark from when he pushed me into the wall," I confessed, my voice barely a whisper, the memory seared into my mind like the scar that refused to fade.

The color drained from Travis's face, his features contorted with a mixture of rage and anguish.

"I would never hurt you, Tay. Never, ever hurt you. Even if I'm mad or drunk or anything," Travis vowed, his voice trembling with emotion as he pulled me closer to him, his own tears mingling with mine.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, overwhelmed by guilt at burdening him with my pain once again.

"Sorry? SORRY?" Travis's voice rose, his eyes blazing with fierce determination.

"You should be anything BUT sorry for what that HORRID man did to you," he declared, his voice raw with emotion as he pulled me into a tight embrace, his words a solemn vow to protect me from any harm that dared to threaten my fragile heart.

"I'm the one that should be sorry. I made you feel these things again," Travis's voice was filled with regret as he spoke, his eyes reflecting a mixture of sorrow and guilt.

Without another word, he scooped me up gently in his arms, cradling me against his chest as he carried me up the stairs to our bedroom. I didn't protest, too exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the day to argue. The simple act of being held in his embrace provided a sense of comfort and security that I desperately needed.

Once we reached the bedroom, Travis carefully laid me down on the bed, his movements tender and gentle. He pulled the soft duvet over us, cocooning us in its warmth, and I snuggled up against him instinctively. His arms enveloped me like a protective shield, holding me close to his chest as if I were the most precious thing in the world.

In that moment, surrounded by his warmth and love, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. Despite the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future, I knew that as long as I was in Travis's arms, I would be safe. With a contented sigh, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to drift into a peaceful slumber, knowing that he would be there to watch over me through the night.

"All because I liked a boy

Fell so deeply into it
It was all so innocent"

- because I liked a boy, Sabrina carpenter.