Twisted.

Inner turmoil.

Minho had become accustomed to his new lifestyle. It had been a month since he had ran away, physically, but he was mentally still 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, remaining tethered.

No matter how hard he tried to expunge the past from his consciousness, its grip remained unyielding, steadfast in its refusal to relent.

He contemplated reaching out to Jeongin, his best friend, yet hesitated at the thought.

What would he even say? Would it suffice to confess, "Hi Jeongin, I have messed everything up cause I'm stupid?" Or perhaps a plea for salvation, "I find myself teetering on the edge– rescue me, for I am barely holding on"?

The irony was not lost on him; who could have foreseen the day when he himself, would become the architect of his 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, concealing the truth from the very person he once trusted with his 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘴𝘵 fears? His best friend, who was still unsure if Minho still drew breath.

He blamed the voice in his head, that kept convincing him that calling Jeongin wouldn't change anything, incessantly, persuasively, that the past could not be undone, only 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥.

Despite not being a drinker, Minho found himself 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 for alcohol on particularly trying days, such as today. His abrasive boss, whose insults seemed incessant, chipped away at Minho's resilience with each passing day, leaving him increasingly 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 to the verbal onslaught.

He swirled the amber liquid around the glass, gently pinching the bridge of his nose, the din of the crowded room faded into the background, replaced by the haunting melody of memories long buried. His gaze, unfocused yet searching, fell upon two figures in the distance.

A faint smile made it's way to his lips as memories of his 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 with Hyunjin flooded his mind unbidden.

"Oh– I'm sorry I didn't see you there". Minho definitely did see the handsome stranger, strategically falling into his arms was a part of his plan.

Enveloped in the embrace of the handsome man, with dark, flowing hair and crimson lips, Minho had decided that he 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 him.

"Oh, it's completely fine... Are you alright?" The words flowed effortlessly from his lips, casting a spell over Minho, enchanting him even 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.

"I'm fine, 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 than fine actually".

"What was that? I'm sorry I didn't hear you".

"Oh it was nothing, mister..." Minho drawled out, subtly fishing to get the hot strangers name.

"Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin. What's your name?"

"Lee Minho". He introduced himself with a coy smile, extending his hand to shake the taller man's hand.

"You have a pretty name, Hyunjin".

"Thanks, you too". Hyunjin replied, returning the sentiment with a warm smile.

"I think I owe you a drink, considering you just saved my life," Minho suggested with a grateful smile.

"Oh? Sure I guess".

Hyunjin was 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, Minho could tell, guess his slutty glances didn't go to a waste.

Five drinks in and Minho was trying his best to not just pull Hyunjin in for a kiss, he wanted Hyunjin to kiss him not the other way around.

"Do you dance?"

"A bit..."

"Would you mind joining me? I'm all alone you see". Hyunjin seemed to think about it for a minute before he said yes.

"Then let's go dance!" Minho exclaimed, rising to his feet and pulling Hyunjin along. With a firm grip on his hand, Minho led them to the dance floor.

Hyunjin's hands found their place on Minho's hips as they swayed together. Minho's mesmerizing movements held Hyunjin's gaze 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 throughout.

Minho raked his hand through his hair as he turned around, his hand pulling Hyunjin's face closer to his and caressing it as he threw his head back.

"Are we really dancing or..."

Minho smiled as he inched in closer to whisper in Hyunjin's ear. "We can do anything you want".

Hyunjin seemed a bit taken aback, like it was his first time encountering someone as bold as Minho. Minho was pleased with Hyunjin's reaction.

"I'm just kidding. God! look at your face". Minho chuckled lightly, as he wrapped his arms around Hyunjin's neck.

"We don't have to anything just yet, let's just relax". He reassured with a gentle smile.

Their first encounter marked the beginning of a 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 as they exchanged numbers, with Minho staying true to his promise. More than two weeks passed before their first kiss, initiated by Hyunjin, deepening the bond forged since that first meeting.

Those were the good days, marred only  by Minho's decision to end their relationship. Perhaps, if he hadn't said those words that day, maybe they would have been still happy together.

Yet dwelling on what could have been served no purpose now, the past was 𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦, akin to spilled milk.

Minho was feeling even worse now, his mood soured entirely. With a heavy sigh, he abandoned his drink and got up to go home. He was done drinking.

It was a stark realization that he was done seeking solace in temporary escapes.

It was strange how Minho's mind worked, how it fixated on the all the 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 ignoring all the negatives.

It was a coping mechanism that had served him well in the past, Minho found himself adrift in a sea of uncertainty, longing for a cure that seemed forever out of reach. 

The desperate yearning for Hyunjin's touch gnawed at Minho's soul, a constant reminder of his own vulnerabilities and insecurities. He grappled with the painful realization that his issues ran deep, defying easy solutions or quick fixes.

Despite his best efforts, he remained 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 in a cycle of self-doubt and longing, his inner demons refusing to be silenced.

𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦.

Author's note: I swear it's going to get better–