Divergent High

Chapter 18

Chapter 18 - I'm sorry

Tris POV

"Hey" Chris says to me from behind my back "how you doing?"

We are at the lockers in school, about to go home. It's three days since he left.

"I'm fine" I answer.

"No you're not" she smiles sadly at me. "I know you miss him."

I turn to look at her. "It's more than that, I love him"

"Sweetie, I know you had strong feelings for him but you only just started dating him, you can't love him that quickly" she says softly

"Look, I didn't want to tell anyone but when we were younger I had a crush on him and he was really mean to me. I saw the way he treated other girls and the way he treated everyone in general. I was angry at him. He wasn't the prince I wanted him to be. So I tried to cover my true feelings towards him with hatred. But when we kissed... it was like butterflies had been unleashed into my stomach"

She laughed quietly and sadly.

"Then when we dated, I felt so special. Even if it was just a day. And then when I was in hospital, I dreamt of me and him together. Marriage, children, grown old. As a couple. I knew for sure that I loved him. But when I lost my memory that all went away. I felt hatred again because I forgot how it felt. How it felt to love him. Joe was so nice to me, but he likes Lyne. And then To- Four, he.... he was there for me, to love me. And I was happy and I fell in love with him all over again. But I made the stupid mistake of lashing out at Joe when we were together and Four got the wrong idea. Now he's... he's gone"

I burst into tears and Christina holds me tightly.

"Shh.. Don't worry, he'll be back. He will soon realise what a mistake he made" Chris says

I sob for a bit longer then wipe my nose and close my locker to go home.

"I'll see you later Chris" I say walking away.

"Bye Trissy!!! It'll all be ok soon" she says.

I smile sadly and walk away. "I hope so" I whisper back. And start to sob.

I walk into the bathroom to hide. I go to the middle cubicle and just cry.

"Hey. Are you ok in there?" A voice from outside the door asks me.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine" I say.

"No you're not. Come out. Let's talk about it" she said sweetly.

I open the door slowly, make up smudged across my face and tears rolling down my cheeks.

I look up and see Molly with her phone out taking a picture.

She laughs and says "Wow. That's going to look great on Facebook!!"

She laughs again and hurries out. I want to chase after her but I'm too shocked and broken.

I fall to the floor and start to rock back and forth.

Why do I have to hurt this bad?? I'm sorry. For everything. I just want to be happy again.

I get a text from my mum asking what I want for dinner.

I reply pizza because other than Nutella and Ben and Jerrys, nothing can make me feel so good right now.

I wipe away my tears and smudged make up and head towards the car park.

I grab my Motorbike and ride home.

"Mum! I'm home!!" I yell.

"Hey honey! A letter arrived for you in the post" she says.

I take the letter and recognise the handwriting to be Tobias's. I stifle a sob and say "I'll read this in my room"

"Ok sweetie" says my mum as I hurry up the stars.

I reach my room and place my bag down. I sit on the edge of my bed with the letter in my hands.

I start to shake. What could be inside?A long letter explaining why he left? Maybe he was being threatened. That's got to be it.

I hurriedly rip it open and my face falls when I read it.

In scrawly handwriting with tear stains on the paper is written:

"I'm sorry"