Octonauts Q&A

Professor Natquik

Hi ya muttonheads I am so so so sorry about how long I've been taken to write this part, and yeah it's been pretty tough recently. Eh does it matter? No. There is questioning to do.

***

Amy nodded brightly and happily.

"Natquik! Love it. Cannot wait for our favourite prof... One of our favourite professors to take the grilling seat."

"Oh yes," the arctic fox said sarcastically. "Oh yes, how thrillingly delightful that I am next in the firing line."

"Oh come on," said Amy, putting on a fake whine. "Now that's just plain exaggeration."

"Um, that's actually quite an accurate representation. You did just call it a grilling seat," shrugged Koshi. Amy narrowed her eyes and hissed at Dashi's little sister. 

"Not helping the case, little kretynka."

"Yeah," snapped Koshi. "But I know what those words mean. It's Polish for a female idiot."

"Correct," laughed Amy, amused. Koshi looked proud that she had been able to translate something out of Amy's home language.

"I read up on Eastern European languages. It's one of the many obscure topics-"

"You mean you get stuck down internet rabbit holes," corrected Dashi laughingly.

"Same difference," muttered the smaller dachshund before retreating into silence.

"You have the right to remain silent," quoted Crash in a fake-posh accent. "Anything you say or do can be used against you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just get on with the questioning. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Professor Natquik!"

With a magic-working wave of his hand and that signature head tilt, Crash brought up a sign saying: "CHEER AND CLAP." Audience applause came from the walls around them, sounding more realistic than any speaker.

"You know, I think you're lightening up," Amy nodded appreciatively. "Less big-tough-Crash and more..."

"Absolutely crazy and weird Crash?" Kwazii suggested.

"That," laughed Amy. "In a good way."

"Welcome to my real self," the guy with the jar head shrugged. "Okay Amy, hit 'em with the questions."

"Oh, with pleasure. Question one. Can you speak Russian?"

"действительно."

"Meaning?" Kwazii asked nonchalantly.

"It means indeed, идиот." 

"And that one means idiot," Koshi said sweetly.

"Natquik!" Inkling scolded. "Watch your language!"

"Amy called someone an idiot in Polish, I can call someone an idiot in Russian."

"She's a questioner with the power to do practically whatever she wants in whatever alternate universe this room exists in."

"Ah, fair point Inky."

"Well, I guess that it's settled you can speak Russian," Amy nodded. "Next question. How long were you stuck in Antarctica before the Octonauts found you?

"I don't prefer to use the terms 'stuck in Antarctica.' It doesn't quite capture the essence of my mission in the deep cold."

"Well, I have to disagree," said Koshi.

"Gee, why are you so opinionated about my questioning?" complained Professor Natquik.

"Well, I'm with my little sister on this one," Dashi agreed. "You were placed in a dilemma in which you could not leave your post, for fear of loss of your work, is this correct?"

"Well... Yes that is correct."

"So you were stuck."

"Okay. Fine. I was stuck."

"And for how long?" Dashi asked.

Professor Natquik sighed.

"Six years."

"You waited for your work to fall into an ice chasm for six years!?" Amy asked incredulously.

"No, I was monitoring the ice chasm movement for a long time, five years or so, but it suddenly got a lot more dangerous and I could no longer stay in the research station. So I built my own little den and sent out a distress signal."

"And it just took me about a year to get the emergency call," Tracker shrugged.

"Right," Amy said slowly. "I think I get it. You were researching, the ice chasms started moving for five years, they sped up drastically and you then were stuck for an additional year waiting for someone to hear your distress call."

"Correct."

"Okay then. Next question. How did you get a fish biscuit? I thought Tunip made them?"

"They started out as Christmas gifts, actually," interjected Shellington.

"Tunip had made little gift packages and then given them to us Octonauts to send to whoever we wanted," Captain Barnacles explained. "And I gave some of mine to my mentor, Professor Natquik."

"Quite delicious," nodded Natquik. "My compliments, Tunip."

"Yup, no one can resist one of Tunip's famous fish biscuits," nodded Shellington.

"Apparently that goes for Russian Professors trapped in Antarctic research stations as well," shrugged Amy. "Had to get a last bite of that biscuit before you left the station, eh? Well, final question from me, before Crashy takes charge with the whole questioning gig. Is it true that your hearing is better than Tweak's?"

"Of course," Natquik said immediately.

"Of course not," Tweak replied immediately.

"Well... Who do I trust then?" Amy asked, looking around at the others, who shrugged and looked like they didn't want to take sides.

Crash smirked. Well, everyone suddenly had the magical notion that he smirked. How did that happen? Crash magic, they guessed. But nonetheless everyone knew he was smirking.

"Let's have a challenge," he suggested. "Hearing challenge. I play you different sounds and you figure out when you can hear them, what sounds they are et cetera."

"Nope," Tweak and Natquik said immediately. 

"Why? You scared the other will be better at hearing?"

"No," shrugged Tweak. "But we have different hearing at different things. I hear things better in the swamp, and I bet Natquik's hearing's better in the snow and-"

With a click of his fingers, Crash teleported all of them into a... what was this place.

Well, as narrator, Crash, and the only person who knows what the place actually is, I shall take the opportunity to describe this wonderland for the benefit of those not currently standing it (YES DASHI I KNOW THAT YOU'RE READING THIS). Ready?

The place was very interesting, a mish-mash of biomes and landscapes. There was forest and grassland and ice and snow and mountain and water and basically everything under the sun, all in around a hundred square metres.

"Right," Crash grinned (once again, no one could actually see the grin, but that strong implication was there). "You'll be chasing a little machine that makes a sound that varies on the biome you're chasing it through. It's definitely not going to be a speed chase--although the two of you are practically even in speed--because it's more listening and quick silent footsteps than running." He held up what looked like a mechanical hamster. "Let's go."

He tossed it into the grass.

Immediately the two challengers shot off into the grassland biome.

Oh wait! Hold up! Look at this power that I (Crash) have just uncovered as my powers as an all-powerful narrator! Let's try this out and...

A/N: Oh yeah, cliffhanger. Sorry. Will try to get the next bit out soon ;)