The Smartphone Saga: A Distracted Journey of Spells and Signals

Chapter 4: Greeted

After one and a half confused hours and a new set of directions, Jasson found the Adventurer's Guild - Stalt Branch. It stood a full floor above the other buildings, like an older brother in a family photo. Fresh red and gold paint decorated the Guild, a building in denial of age like a movie star with a now-wealthy plastic surgeon. Above the door a sign swung in the zephyr breeze, proudly displaying a circle containing a sword with wings.

This shouldn't be too hard, Jasson thought, it's like going to the store.

A bell tinkled as Jasson pushed the door open. Or tried to. The door stopped about halfway and wouldn't go any further. After a couple of seconds, Jasson gave up and slipped through the gap. Inside he found a half-dozen tables, a two-story ceiling with swing-ready chandeliers, and a Mountain jamming the door.

To be more accurate, the door was blocked by the raised foot of a recliner armchair (size Oversized-Wide). The Mountain was the man relaxed on the recliner, making it look proportionally reasonable. Memorization glinted in the Mountain's eyes like diamonds sparkling from black stone. The Mountian smiled briefly, as if seeing something he liked in Jasson, and the dark skin around his eyes crinkled merrily. Then the Mountain refocused on the book in his hands, stroking his black beard idly as he motioned Jasson forward.

Okay, Jasson thought, don't get bounced. Gotcha.

Past the half-dozen tables was a long counter made of rich wood. This counter held five receptionist bays, but only one was currently occupied. The sole attendant, a lady of considerable attraction, stood and waved Jasson over.

Jasson found it difficult to avoid staring at the woman as he approached. Above a docile smile were eyes sharp as paper, the type that cuts across your knuckles when your guard is down. More than that, she was attractive in many ways that an almost eighteen-year-old was quite vulnerable to. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen (at least in person) and Jasson felt his mind immediately begin to fuzz.

"Hello there," the attendant said perkily, "my name is Jane. How can I help you today?"

"Thank you," Jasson said reflexively, "Umm...I would like to fill out an application. Do you have an online form?"

"Online?" Jane said, sitting down behind the desk, "No. We have paper forms, but none which need 'hanged on a line'. Are you trying to become an adventurer?"

Paper eh? Jasson thought, I can do that. I'm staring too much though.

"Yes." Jasson said, unlocking his phone, "I heard there's a fourteen-day free trial and I'm broke so..."

Good, Jasson thought as he navigated his phone, I have a signal in here. Gotta keep my eyes busy.

"I can enroll you presently," Jane said, grabbing a form from a drawer, "Can you write your name? Or will you need help signing the documents?"

"I can sign my own name." Jasson said, taken aback by the question, "Although my signature is sus. Why wouldn't I be able to write?"

"Many can't," Jane said, "You must have been decently well off as a child to consider education normal. If only you could do sums."

Jane laughed, then said, "Ah well, just do your best with this. Let me know if you need help reading the longer words. And don't worry about filling everything out. If you don't know what to put under 'Abilities' it's okay. You can complete the rest of the paperwork once you figure yourself out. Just put down what you know, take your time, and I'll fill the rest out for you."

Jasson managed to relax as he scrolled, clearing his mind with some wholesome baby videos. Yes, the woman was attractive (even if she was degrading). But he was better than some simp that drooled over everything with amazing- um.... Yeah, he had discipline. Hopefully.