Please, release me ✩ Dazai X Reader

Chapter 12

After a few moments of hesitation, you finally grab the stick on the right, Atsushi. You knew it had something to do with Dazai's sudden demands for you to join the Agency, most likely a test of sorts before joining. Kenji was still a bit of a mystery to you as you hadn't seen much of him, and Kunikida, while he was kind and sympathetic, had a tendency to be overly strict, so if this really had something to do with the test, Atsushi seemed like your best option. "Today is the kid's day off, could you fetch him for me, there's a lot of work to be done you see," Kunikida asks, adjusting his glasses as he occasionally does. Kunikida quickly checks his notebook, flicks through the pages, and then stops, "the kid should be shopping around this time," he notes. "I'll...try the shopping district," you reply, slightly bowing your head before leaving the Agency to find Atsushi.

That being said, there was agreeing to find him and actually locating him was another thing; the shopping district in Yokohama was huge. However, based on his behaviour and his frugality, there are very few particular cheap stores. Knowing a bit about his shopping habits made finding him much easier, as you notice him attempting to haggle with the nosy store owner you usually ran into whenever...Tanaka would send you out for shopping.

You walk over and tap Atushi on the shoulder, "Why; if it isn't L/N, can you believe this kiddo, asking for lower prices as if these aren't the best prices around already!" the shop owner exclaims, crossing her arms in a huff. "I sent him on some errands for him and I sent him here, I should have told him how good the prices already are, I'm sorry," you try to explain, coming up with anything to ease her annoyance, and it works. However, it wasn't what you said that pacified her, but the fact you spoke, which took her aback. "You're not mute!?" she yells in surprise; despite the heat being taken off Atsushi, he looks unsure of what to do in this new situation. "The doctor at the Agency was kind enough to heal my vocal cords, this is Atsushi, he's been a huge help while I've been at the Agency, so please be nice to him," you reply, bowing your head slightly, showing her some respect. "Hmm...alright, sorry kiddo, I didn't know you were doing some errands for L/N, so I'll give you that discount you wanted so badly for her," she asserts as she finally accepts the cash from Atsushi.

After leaving, you both head towards the Agency. "Sorry about the store lady; she doesn't take well to strangers asking for discounts on her wares, but she's a good person," you explain, turning to face Atsushi, who looks a little embarrassed. "T-thank you!" he exclaims; you could tell he felt awkward and wasn't sure what else to say to you. "Kunikida asked me to find you, but if it's alright with you, could we take the scenic route there through Harbour View Park?" you ask, and his expression brightens after hearing this. "Of course, I know the way there!" he cheerfully exclaims, still clutching the brown paper bag with items he just bought. A part of you wanted to complete Kunikida's request as soon as possible, while the other part wanted to avoid the Agency for a little longer since you knew Dazai was there. Before, you would obediently follow orders or requests, but here you were taking your time for once; it was nice, despite in the back of your mind, you were uneasy about taking so long and angering Kunikida. In some way, this detour was like a baby step towards regaining normality and being a normal human being again rather than some obedient dog.

Amidst your thoughts, you failed to spot that Atsushi had run ahead and stopped to play with a few stray cats that had taken a shine to him. It wasn't until you got closer to him that you finally noticed. He was sitting on the floor, holding onto one kitten and two others, trying to climb him as if he were a tree. There was a brown kitten peacefully resting in his hands, a small ginger cat trying to attack the poor brown one and a black and white cat clawing its way up his back, but he seemed unfazed. "Do cats usually flock to you like this?" you ask, curious; it was almost as if they had accepted him into their pack. "I-I'm a tiger, not a cat!" he exclaims, looking a little flustered; it seems he thought you were trying to call him a cat, like Dazai sometimes would do to the poor soul. "It's just that cats tend to flock towards those they know are kind," you reply plainly, and your response surprises Atsushi somewhat, which makes you question how much that Bastard tormented him. You sit beside Atushsi on the grass and attempt to pet the black and white cat, but it tries to swipe its claws at you; however, you're too fast for it, and the kitten falls instead. "Animals tend to not like me, so I'm somewhat envious since cats are especially cute as kittens," you comment, simply muttering whatever comes to mind, which is unusual for you to do even before that whole nightmare that was Dazai. Atsushi holds out the brown kitten in his hands as if trying to encourage you, "I know you're a good person, so maybe they will too!" he cheers you on in an attempt to lift up your spirits. Hesitating, you finally hold your hand towards the kitten, and it brushes its head against your outstretched hand. "We should probably get going, Kunikida must be glaring at his watch by now," you mention as you stand up, looking away. Atsushi nervously laughs at your comment and gently puts down the kittens, picks up the brown bag with his shopping inside and stands up.

The two of you continued your way towards the Agency in silence, and to your surprise, you could feel awkwardness amidst the silence. After what happened a few years back, silence became one of the few things that brought you a little peace, but it seems that being able to talk once more meant you started to feel awkward walking beside someone in silence. "Could I ask...what if life in the Agency...like?" you suddenly ask, which surprises Atsushi to the point that he suddenly stops in his tracks. You can see all over his face that he was thinking very hard about how he should respond to your question, most likely because he wasn't sure what he was allowed to talk about to someone outside of the Agency. "When I had nowhere to go after the orphanage kicked me out they took me in and I've been grateful ever since...Dazai's childish and annoying but...it's thanks to him that I'm in the Agency now," he responds, looking down into his bag of groceries, deep in thought. You knew that based on what he said, this orphanage was not forgiving to him because what sort of orphanage does that; however, you do not pry any further. However, what he said about Dazai lingers in your mind; Atsushi is now living a life he enjoys, but where was that kindness for you? This deepened your hatred for the man, yet you felt no jealousy or unfairness from Atsushi; he's a sweet kid, and the fault alone lies with Dazai.

You wish you could speak about what Dazai has done to you, but the chains and shackles remain.

Instead, you try to keep the conversation going with something else, "I have to ask... are there any individuals...I should be careful of?" you try to ask; however, it seems your speech is still very uneven, which causes you to occasionally pause and sometimes hover your fingertips near your neck whenever you struggle to continue talking. Atsushi furrows his eyebrows slightly while looking downwards towards his bag of groceries. "Akutagawa, Ryūnosuke Akutagawa he thinks nothing of killing anyone in his way, and proving a point to show off his power and making people fear him..." Atsushi replies, looking more annoyed and angry the more he thinks of this person called Akutagawa. "If you see him, run," he adds, as he looks you in the eyes with a grave expression. You nod in response; you want to ask further; however, it seems the words refuse to come out. You were glad you were able to get a name; you only need to be able to recognise him when the time comes.

However, there was still hesitation when using your ability; you so desperately want freedom, yet you can steal that freedom from others, even if it is temporary.

"Ats-" you go to say before a panicked person shoves past you both, looking beyond terrified, not even looking back once at the alleyway they had just left. Not long after, the sound of coughing followed, and Atsushi's face was filled with shock, horror, and soon enough, rage as he turned his head to the direction the person came from. "Akutagawa!" he hollers, dropping his bag and running into the alleyway towards the coughing noise. Surely this couldn't be part of the Agency's test or had Dazai done something to cause this to happen and the both of you happened to ' coincidentally' walk past the right place at the right time.

But what do you do now? Make use of your ability and be forced to see Atsushi's expression when he finds out the nature of your ability, or choose to run and have faith in him that he knows what he's doing.

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It seems once again a chapter took a great deal of time to finally be published, I shall do my best to be quicker with the next; however, I can't make any promises. And yet again there is a decision to be made so make sure to vote to determine which path Y/N (you) takes.