Please, release me ✩ Dazai X Reader

BIRTHDAY SPECIAL

As you no doubt guessed from this chapter's title, this chapter will be a little different in celebration of Dazai's birthday! (Yes I am aware that it's a little late...) Think of this chapter as a "What If, one shot". What If Y/N (you) did not have an ability and met Dazai under different circumstances? This chapter will be exploring that, so in no way is this chapter considered part of the main storyline. As always I do hope you enjoy~

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When you originally came to Yokohama, you never expected to become so close to someone like Dazai. You were 16 when you first ran off to Japan, and Yokohama was supposed to be your first stop of many, but things changed after Dazai and you stayed. You blamed those good looks of his and the fact that he also knew how to speak your language and went on to teach you some Japanese; it was difficult not to fall for him, just like all those other women who fell for his charms. But after he disappeared almost four years ago, you weren't sure if you would ever see him again, not after what happened to his closest friend, Sakunosuke Oda. During that time, you had gone from one job to another, thanks to the documents Dazai had procured for you; how exactly, you didn't want to know. However, it wasn't until you began working at a little cafe a few floors underneath the famed Armed Detective Agency that you finally encountered him.
You were in the back with one of the staff as she told you about the few unsavoury customers, "So that last one hasn't paid his tab in 6 months! He's a huge flirt, but he's a regular since he's from the ADA upstairs," she explains, looking annoyed just thinking about it. "Just mention his tab or life insurance when he talks to you like that alright!" she orders, clearly trying to look out for you since you're new. You only nod in response, too preoccupied with your thoughts to come up with a proper response, and before you know it, she's pushing you out of the staff room, "Remember to smile!" she tells you, and now it is time to begin the day.
Fortunately, it was a pretty uneventful day, which is always something to appreciate when there's always the chance of that one particular customer who seems hell-bent on ruining your day. There were only a few customers in the cafe, so you cleaned some glasses and waited for any new customers; however, you were too busy in your thoughts to notice a new customer walk in and sit at one of the tables, throwing his trench coat onto the green booth he was on. "Waitress, iced coffee please!" you hear a man shout, and all you see is a raised arm from one of the booths in the back corner facing you, but his face is just out of sight. Snapping out of your thoughts, you look in the direction of the voice in surprise, "A-ah, yes right away, sir!" you answer, scrambling to finish the order, noticing it was almost time for your break.
You place the drink on the table and hold the tray to your chest, "Please enjoy sir," you say, keeping your eyes down as you are still nervous. You quickly bow your head and go to leave; however, you stop in your tracks when he speaks, "Still shy, Y/N-chan?" you hear, and instantly turn your head to look the man in the eyes. It was Dazai, whom you hadn't seen in almost four years after he disappeared, having only left a letter, "Dazai..." you mutter, too stunned to speak to say anything else. There were so many little differences about him: his outfits, that darkness that was always present within his eyes seemed to have faded, and that expression of his was now carefree but somewhat mischievous. After realising that you were staring for too long, you quickly look away, your cheeks warm from embarrassment, "Join me, Y/N-chan~" he requests, pouting like a child. Turning your head, you look at him, a little frustrated, "D-don't call me that, I'm too old for that now!" you plead, tightly clinging to the tray in your arms that you held to your chest. It was a nickname he would call you as a teen but eventually stopped when you both turned 18, and it wasn't long after that he disappeared. Unfortunately, despite all the years, you were still weak to that face of his like most women. Which disheartened you as you hated being putty in his hands; all the while, he enjoyed your reactions.
The silence finally breaks when the waitress who gave you the work induction emerges from the staff area, "Y/N-san, you can go on break now," she mentions, with her customer service smile she had shown you beforehand as an example of what to do, while also ignoring Dazai altogether. After some hesitation, you sit opposite Dazai and place the tray on the table, "Miss me?" Dazai asks, looking curiously at you, but you know it was all an act. He always knew how to read you like an open book, and it only caused the frustration within you to surface, "Of course I did, you know that!" you snapped, clenching your fists together, "You disappeared without saying a word, and don't say you left that letter, because that didn't explain anything..." you add, your anger fizzing away while you unclench your hands and stare at the table, unable to look him in the eyes.
Your short-lived anger and frustration turned into a tinge of sadness because while you knew deep in your heart that it was wrong to get attached, you did it anyway, deciding to chase that mysterious bandaged teen who had taken pity on you on a whim all those years ago. When the courage finally arrives, you look up to him, and he's looking out the window with a look you couldn't describe with words as he looks into the distance as if looking at something only he could see. There was no darkness, childlike excitement, or mischief on his face, and the sight made you both melancholy and enthralled, the complaints having disappeared into the abyss. You sigh, not sure what to say now that bitterness has passed, "Dazai, I-" you try to speak before stopping yourself as he turns his head towards you, his gaze weakening your resolve.
Averting your eyes, you hesitate some more; however, that silence is interrupted by the cafe's bell chiming from the door opening, "There you are, you waste of bandages!" a man yells, causing Dazai to look in the direction of the voice as he puts his hands up in surrender. "Ah, you found me, Kunikida-san~" he jokes, irritating the man further. You recognised the man from the brief description the waitress gave you beforehand; she mentioned he was a well-mannered customer aside from when he was with Dazai. From the looks of it, Dazai had disappeared during work to slack off in the cafe. Kunikida forcefully grabs Dazai's collar, "Do you know how much work there is after that job, have you written that report yet!?" he shouts as he shakes Dazai back and forth. Everyone else in the cafe acted as if nothing was happening, which meant this was a regular occurrence, and they had got used to such a scene; you, however, were too surprised to know how to react in such a situation. You knew from how they were acting that Kunikida most likely wasn't aware of Dazai's previous occupation, "What report?~" he asks, acting innocent as if he's done no wrong. It was clear that this wasn't the response Kunikida wanted to hear, "I'm dragging your ass back to work!" he yells, grabbing the back of his collar and quite literally dragging him back to work, leaving you sitting there completely confused as to what just transpired.
You stand up and pick up the tray, only to notice a small piece of paper; as you unfold it, you read the note. A time, date and location; there was no name, but you knew it was Dazai, and he had no time to write it when he was with you, so you knew he must have predicted today and written it beforehand. Your break was finally over, so you had to contemplate going later when you had the time to worry about such things.
Before you knew it, the weekend had arrived, and here you walked through the streets of Yokohama with flowers in your hands, your destination, the cemetery. While you found it surprising that he picked such a place, you knew what exactly he wanted to do, especially considering today was his birthday; he no doubt wished to visit Oda's grave.
When you finally arrive, you notice Dazai leaning against the back of the gravestone; stopping in front of the grave, you gently place down the flowers, and he tilts his head up to look at you. "Kind as ever," he comments, closing his eyes lost in thought. Wishing not to disturb him, you quietly sit beside him and patiently wait until he wishes to talk, and for a while, the silence remains, not that it bothered you this time. Dazai finally opens his eyes and picks up a bottle of sake and two cups, offering you one of the cups. After you take it, he fills up both cups, he quickly drinks it and sighs, and there it was, that expression on his face as if looking at something only he could see with an expression you couldn't describe. You had to admit that he had many qualities that made him seem almost no longer human, but how he looked leaning against his friend's gravestone made you want to believe in his humanity, even if it was difficult to find sometimes.
Unfortunately, despite the lovely summer weather not too long ago, you could start to feel the droplets of rain landing on you; all the while, he remained silent, staring at his sake cup. Dazai was the one mystery you could never figure out; you never knew if there was even a way for you to do something to comfort him or if it was possible to surprise him since he always seemed to be able to read everyone around him to a terrifying degree. Failing to come up with anything, you open up your umbrella and sit closer to him as the silence between you both remains.

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After this chapter, the main story will continue as this chapter was a one-off thing. However, if the idea becomes popular I may do a second part for any special holidays such as Halloween or Christmas.