April 25 2022
Well, today's pains was I do not know, I just can't explain. First, I texted my friends and also my classmates to come over my house so we can have a Bible study. But, sadly, they didn't come, even one. Mostly, I was sad because of my friends, they told me they will go, yet they didn't even say sorry. I mean, it is rainy today, maybe it was the reason, but they did not told me. They just did not come. No excuse. No regret. Second, I was in pain because of my faithlessness. I just found out that I am no longer trusting God and I could not do something pleasing to Him. I became disobedient. And it hurts. I want to trust God, I still do believe in Him. Yet, unbelief begun to rise. Third, I told my parents that I have difficulty of breathing and sadly, they scolded me and said it was my fault. God knows I'm trying, He knows. It hurts, because I never wanted it at the first place!
I hope this suffering makes sense.
May God shower me with His peace. I really, desperately need to get back in life again.
