This Little Light of Mine

8: 𝐈'𝐝 𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐘𝗼𝐮'𝐝 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐞

August 10th, 2030

    August 10th was the day of Bennett's MRI results. This appointment would give Lucy and Tim the confirmation on how much the radiation worked, if it happened to work at all. The two had rather slim hopes of it working well, after seeing Bennett struggling a bit more over the past few days. They wanted it to have worked, but they were highly uncertain. They had been reassured multiple times that the issues Bennett had been facing were most likely due to the amount of radiation treatments that she had to have, but they knew that there was also a possibility that it wasn't from the radiation, and that it was from the tumor progressing. They hated to think about it that way, but they knew it was a possibility. Tim and Lucy always tried to be as optimistic as they could, but it was extremely hard, since they knew their young daughter had an inoperable and very aggressive brain tumor.

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    "B, come on, we can't be late, sweetheart," Lucy said, as she found their five year old downstairs, playing with Max and Kojo in the living room. "'Kay, Mama, I'm coming!" Bennett said, as she petted both of the dogs one last time, before standing up and walking over to her parents. "Alright, kiddo, let's go find out some answers." Lucy said, as she, Bennett, and Tim exited the house and got in the car. On the drive to the hospital, Lucy and Tim talked and Bennett played with one of her little car books, which always came in handy on any type of road trip, no matter how long that trip would've been. Five minutes or five hours, those car books would keep the little girl highly entertained.

    The family arrived at the hospital around twenty minutes before Bennett's appointment was scheduled for. That would give them enough time to get out of the car and get into the hospital. This time, her appointment was on the third floor, in the offices. They had to follow the same protocol with checking in, but once they had successfully checked in, they were sent straight upstairs to wait for the appointment. Bennett's name was called about ten minutes after they had gotten up to the offices, which indicated they were running a few minutes behind, which wasn't the biggest deal on the planet for most people. However, since they were waiting to hear the results of their daughter's treatment, those ten minutes felt like a lifetime.

    The doctor came straight in with them, and did an initial check-up on Bennett, to see how she was doing a few days after her final radiation treatment. "She's still been dealing with the same problems, but they've gotten better over the past few days." Lucy informed the doctor. "That's a positive thing, it means that those issues were more than likely due to the radiation, which is better than it being from the tumor." He informed the parents. "Now, let's talk about the results from radiation." The doctor told them, as he pulled out the file to look at.

    Waiting for him to find those results was stressful for Tim and Lucy. This short conversation was going to potentially tell them if they would have extra time with their daughter, or potentially less time with her than originally anticipated.

    "So, great news with this," the doctor led with, causing Tim and Lucy to breathe a little easier. "The radiation shrunk her tumor 30 percent. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but with this type of tumor, that is amazing." He told them, as both of the parents let out a sigh of relief. "Does that mean we have more time?" Lucy asked him. "Potentially. With DIPG, there's never a definitive timeline. This could have bought her two weeks, two months, maybe a year. But, it also may not have bought any extra time. We are hopeful that it did buy you both a little more time with her, but it's ultimately a waiting game." The doctor said.

    "What about the New York trial? Is she able to do it?" Tim asked, as the doctor nodded. "I spoke with the doctor that runs that specific trial, and he did accept Bennett's case. You'll need to be in New York by September 2nd. That's the earliest he was able to get her in, so that will be the start. Be prepared to stay for a while, this trial is more than just radiation." He told them, as both of the parents nodded.

    The trial Bennett was accepted to was not going to be easy. The CED trial was going to involve Bennett having a procedure to place a catheter directly onto her brainstem, which would then pump chemotherapy straight to her brain. This would be far from a cure, but Tim and Lucy were trying to buy more time with Bennett. They knew this would be a long and challenging trial, but they were very hopeful it would all be worth it afterwards.

    They all discussed a few other pending items, before they were checked out and heading back home. Once they got home, Bennett headed straight back to play with the dogs. Lucy and Tim watched her play for a moment. They were extremely thankful that Bennett was still playing. She was still walking relatively decently, but most importantly, she was still there. As painful as it was, her parents knew there would be a time where they would lose her. They were going to lose her and have to live without her for the rest of their lives. It broke them to have to think about it, but they knew they needed to be realistic. The reality of having a child with DIPG was heartbreaking, and they were seeing it with their own eyes. They had realized that these good days were not going to last forever. Bennett was going to progress at some point, that was undeniable. They only hoped it wouldn't be soon. They wanted as much time with her as they could get. More time with her was all they were asking for.

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    After Bennett went to bed that night, Tim and Lucy sat in their room. "I'm so glad the radiation worked. It was worth the trauma, but I hope this trial will be." Lucy said, as Tim nodded, "Yeah. Only time will tell, though," he said. "This waiting game is painful. I can't believe we are having to try to buy time with our daughter, and we know the reality." Tim added, "What do we do if this trial doesn't work? What do we do when we are out of options? Out of time?"

    "We'll handle that path when we get there," Lucy said. "She's fine for now. Not perfect, but she's way better than she could be, Tim. I hate this just as much as you do, but we need to face the good. We need to enjoy these good days and all of the memories we can make. We won't have them forever, so we need to make the most of them now." She told him, as he nodded. "You're right. I just hate this whole cancer thing. I hate every bit of it." He told her. "I do too. But we'll get through it, just like we always do." Lucy informed him.

    "Just like we always do." He repeated. From that moment on, Lucy and Tim were going to make more memories with Bennett than they already had. It would be tricky during the clinical trial and later on, which they knew. But, they weren't going to let it stop them. Not then, not ever.