Love, Summer

9: lost

I'm lost.

I don't remember the last time I talked, I think it's been a week.

My chest hurts and all I can replay in my head is that one night.

I know there's no proof and therefore whatever my brain is coming up with may not even be right.

Brendan's been harassing me too. I thought with Mia as his girlfriend he would leave me alone but I guess not.

The bullying has gotten even worse now too. It's so embarrassing and the fact that people only do it when Reese and Luke aren't around.

I do want to come out and say something but I know if I do there needs to be actual proof.

Maybe I can look through my camera roll to see, because I have like no other social media.

During my free period I go to sit in the library and scroll on my phone.

I look up that night and see a bunch of getting ready pictures.

I see my outfit, a black mini skirt with a black open back tee shirt. I look so cute and I wish I could wear that outfit again.

Scrolling more through my phone I notice Brendan in the background of a lot of photos. When I look at a selfie he's dropping something in the can behind me.

This may be proof of some sort of drugging because I was not just drunk that night.

In a video before that, I see Brendan looking at me from behind. He starts opening a bottle and fishing around for a few pills.

He throws a few in my drink and I think that's proof enough.

I have a screenshot from Luke's story and upon further inspection I notice Brendan bringing me upstairs.

I keep scrolling but I can't find anything else.

I practically slam my phone on the table and sigh out loudly.

There is no other evidence. I could've just remembered it wrong and actually cheated.

The only other person that would really know is Mia and she's definitely not on my side.

There's nothing else I can really do and I don't know if I should ask for help. Asking Reese or Luke could not go well and they may think I'm a liar.

Tears begin to flow from my eyes. I'm beyond frustrated and I don't know if I should just accept my fate like I have been for the last couple years.

"Breaking your phone?" A voice breaks me out of my trance and when I see Luke standing in front of me I'm shocked.

He pulls out a chair and sits in front of me.

"H-hi," I speak almost too softly. I don't mean to be so annoying but my tears wouldn't go away.

"Crying? What's wrong Summer?" Luke leans forward towards me and I feel myself shift back a tiny bit.

"Sorry," I apologize for flinching to one of my closest friends. Well, of the past.

"No apologies. What's wrong?" Luke asks, leaning backward instead.

I do really want to tell him but I know there's a chance he won't believe me. He may even tell Reese that I'm lying.

I'm a liar.

"Nothing." I don't really know what else to say. I don't want to tell the truth but I hate lying.

"Clearly that's not true. What's up Rosie? You can tell me you know," he smiles at me and I feel way more comfortable speaking to him than before.

"I guess, I'm just questioning a few things lately." I shrug like it's no big deal.

"Like what? Brendan giving you a hard time?" His face grows dark and now I feel guilty for getting him involved.

I seriously need to stop and think about what I say.

"I don't know. Some things aren't adding up.." I sigh.

"I'm gonna need some more details please." Is the only response Luke has and I roll my eyes.

"Just- that night. Two years ago. I don't know, I don't want to say anything until I know." I am able to hold my ground and stay strong. It's hard to even say that out loud and acknowledge something is wrong but I need to do it.

"Yea, I felt that too. We'll figure it out. Don't you worry." Luke smiles happily at me and I actually feel grateful he understands what I mean.

"Thank you Luke. Even thought I'm not dating Reese anymore I appreciate this." I try to smile but I feel awkward.

"No problem. You know that girls only want me for hooking up and you're the only real girl friend I've had." He smiled back and gets up.

He pats me on the shoulder before going to leave.

And once again I'm all alone.