Seventeen Imagines

If You Only Knew

Woozi and I got into a heated argument earlier and now, me and him are avoiding each other although we live on the same roof, he's been in his music room ever since he walked out in the middle of our argument while I am inside our shared bedroom sitting on the bathtub while the water is running and overfilling the bathtub.

I am still wearing my clothes as I laid myself on our bathtub, I didn't care anymore if he hears my cries all I care about is I can actually let all my feelings out, I didn't even mean to snapped at him earlier and I know it is my fault in the first place that we had an argument.

I've been dealing with my depression and anxiety for a few months now and, not knowing how I really feel makes me easily irritated and sad, I constantly feel overwhelmed and I constantly will have panic attacks and anxiety attacks whether I'm at home or outside, and he hated that I always tell him that we should just stay home when he wanted for us to bond together.

I put myself under the water and started screaming, I don't know how long I've been under the water when I suddenly felt myself getting lift up from the bathtub and being put on the tiled floor of our bathroom, I coughed out some water that had gotten into me and opened my eyes to find Woozi's who are now red and puffy.

"Why did you do that?! You could've died!!! You scared the shit out of me, y/n!! Don't do that again!!" He started screaming at me now while tears kept flowing from his eyes.

I got up from where I am being laid down and sat up, letting my hair fall on my face, I heard him sigh loudly as I just stared at the wet floors, tears started streaming down my face as I remembered what I had said to him earlier while we were fighting.

"You think what I said to you was hurtful?! You should hear the things I kept to myself!" I scream at him.

"*Scoff* the truth which has been spoken too late is more damaging than a lie, Y/n." He said angrily.

I sigh as I remembered it, another tear fell from my eyes as I sniffled, I cried even more as I felt him hugged me, I tried pushing him away but, he just won't let go of the hug.

"I've been trying so hard to survive... Sometimes I think that I wanna die... I feel so f*cking guilty cause God I'm so lucky to live.. my.. life... So, I keep all the pain to myself... Losing faith, but you can't even tell..." I said when I managed to stop myself from crying so hard.

"Why...?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"Because, I don't want you worried cause that would just hurt me so, I pretend I'm fine..." I replied.

"I.. I didn't know.. I'm so sorry you felt this way..." He said as he broke down in tears.

"If you only knew... What my mind is telling me I should do.. that I'm drunk and all alone in our room here tonight and I'm too sad to cry, it's true.." I said in between my tears.

"Y/n..." He said.

"If you only knew... All the shit my brain is putting me through.. you'd come running over straight to this room here tonight, I'm sorry if I need you..." I said my voice cracked as well.

"Hon.. I'm so sorry..." He said as he kissed me on my head.

"I wanna get better, I want you to know.. that I can't do this on my own..." I said now I was totally crying in his arms.

"Hon... You should've told me..." He said.

I shook my head, as if telling him 'you should've seen it coming already'.

"I wanna tell you.. what my mind is telling me I should do.. that I'm drunk and all alone in our room here tonight.. I'm too sad to cry, but I want to... If you only knew." I said finally blacking out.

A/n: Welp, that's a bit messed up... Hehe, I'm so sorry!!! I really love Woozi!!! I just needed to put this here since this has been on my draft for the past few days now and I felt the need to publish this too, I edited this already before publishing it hehe, hope y'all would like this!!! Also, I'm so glad that our JeongCheol are finally back!! I love Coups in red hair!!! ACKKKKKKKKK!!!!