Total Drama All-Stars (Lewis McLean)

Funny Lying (FLASHBACK)

At first, the whole system freaked out. They didn't realize it was possible for anybody but Mike and themselves to travel within and without of the subconscious. 

So, you could imagine their shock when Mike's seven year old friend appeared out of nowhere. 

To be fair, the young girl seemed just as confused as them. But, she was the only one being calm about it. As a matter of fact, it didn't bother her at all. 

Now, it's worth bringing up that these alters didn't age, not physically, anyway, which is why they appeared the exact same as they did when competing throughout seasons four and five of Total Drama. So, naturally, they were a lot taller than Lily.

Socializing wasn't on her list of top priorities, either, which didn't help the situation. Not really knowing what else to do, Mal took it upon himself to find a way to get her out of 'his' subconscious as soon as possible. In. . . a non-violent way, of course.

". . . I just don't get this." He muttered to himself, reading over the same few pages of a book, several times. 

Meanwhile, his little 'minions' were busy not only entertaining themselves, but Lily, too. They had a mind of their own, and once they noticed she was around the same size as them, they spent most of their time hanging around her.

"And then, we're gonna call you 'boss'!" 

One of them enthusiastically said. Lily's eyes practically shone at the concept. 

"Yeah! I can be all of your bosses-es, and then we can have, like, a big tower, with a volcano, 'n' stuff!" 

Mal raised a brow, glancing over his shoulder.

She can be so foolish at times. . .  although. . . I do quite like that concept.

He thought to himself, but shook his head to regain his focus on the current situation. He had come up with absolutely nothing so far. But, after another minute of pondering, something snapped into his head. 

If stronger emotions and events led us to leave, then perhaps. . .

He wanted to make Lily either cry, or get frustrated at him. Knowing Lily, it would either be the easiest. . . or most difficult thing he'd ever done in his life. So, with a small exhale, he dismissed his small dummies, so he could have a private moment with the young girl. 

"Lily. . . your dad is gonna be. . . so mad." 

Surprised at his sudden words, she widened his eyes. 

"Huh?"

"And then, because of that, you're not gonna be his favourite anymore." 

She immediately became worried, and expressed her confusion, yet again. 

"Wha?!" 

With a small, but deep chuckle, Mal shrugged, shaking his head. 

"Then, your new dad's gonna be his favourite." 

Lily didn't know Chef all that well yet, so because of Mal's words, she immediately assumed he was trying to replace her.

Due to those mixed feelings, she started sobbing, and hid her face in her hands. Clearly, Mal hadn't expected that big of a reaction, especially so suddenly, from a seven year old that acted so calm all the time. 

"Whoa, calm down, I'm only kidding! Gh, you babies never get my jokes. . ." 

He grew tense, fearing that one of the other alters would come to check why exactly Lily had started crying around him. Not truly knowing what else to do, he simply copied what he'd seen the others do. He picked Lily up with both hands, talking to her.

"Do you KNOW what a joke is?"

He questioned, feeling as if he already knew the answer. Lily sniffled, and looked at him with watery eyes. She didn't give him a response, which made him feel as if he now HAD to explain.

"It's when someone lies to another person, but that other person knows they're lying, which. . . makes the lie funny. So, it's. . . funny."

Lily didn't appear to get it, but Mal sighed in relief, at the fact she had stopped crying.

"Uh. . . those are what my jokes are, anyway. You know. . . funny lying. Because you're lying to them, and. . . that's funny, because they didn't know?"

Realizing he had stopped making sense, Mal groaned, and held Lily properly, close to his chest. 

"I can't believe I'm actually making conversation with an infant."

As young as Lily was, she was still fairly advanced for her age. So, she understood everything the teenager was saying, and took offence to being called an infant. In the only act of retaliation her tiny body could handle, she lightly hit Mal's chest with her fist, pouting.

". . . ? What, are you upset that I called you an infant? You're seven years old. That's close enough to still be called an infant, right? You should take it as a compliment."

He advised, narrowing his eyes. It wasn't to threaten Lily at all, but instead to make sure that she simply didn't hit him again. He couldn't deny the facts, though. He was starting to warm up to her.

*

[I LOVE BEE AND PUPPYCAT SO MUCH WAAAA- okay but fr? baby bird is so adorable.]