Chapter 16

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Feelings can ruin everything. They can screw you over if you let yourself be vulnerable; and it sucks. As a surgeon, it’s best packing away every emotion to keep your head clear so as not to make mistakes. So as not to hurt someone else.

Maybe being emotionless would help me get through everything. Instead, we always find ourselves having to pick up the pieces. Maybe there’s only one positive emotion that can guide us through all of this.

Anger.

It keeps you from breaking.

Irin rushes into the bar where Becky says she would find her. As she walks in, her lungs are filled with smoke and the smell of beers and tequila. Her eyes search for Becky in the room, and she sees the brunette sitting by the bar counter, with a line of ten shots in front of her.

She sits beside her and takes a look at her. She has the same pout she usually wears when she gets into a fight with Freen, so her first guess it’s the surgeon.

“Are you planning on drinking all of those?”

Becky takes a whole shot and then places the empty glass upside down on the counter.

“Yes.”

Irin sighs. “What happened?”

“Freen is married.” She says, spelling the words.

Irin widens her eyes in shock, trying to process what the brunette just said.

“What?!”

“I hate her.. so much. She played me all this time! She accused me of playing her and then she was the one that was fucking married!” She shouts, getting other people attention, but she doesn’t care.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing. I ran away before she could start filling me with more lies.” She drinks again. “I hate her.”

“That bitch.”

“I never wanna see her again.”

“But you work there, Bec.”

“I never wanna see her again- in my bed.” She adds.

Irin sighs and takes away the next shot the brunette was about to soak up.

“If you let her keep doing this to you, you’re going to get yourself fired for real this time.”

“I won’t.”

Irin keeps glaring at her as if to make sure she was telling the truth.

“I won’t. I‘ll just act professional. I can be professional. I can. I can, right?”

“Are you sure about that?”

She keeps quiet for a while, just staring at Irin while biting her bottom lip in frustration. She decides not to answer and throws down the next shot.

*********************************

“Why are you here, Faye?”

“I came for you. I don’t want to give up on us. You may have done that easily but I can’t.”

Freen lets out a bitter laugh. “You cheated on me, I’d say you were the first to give up.”

“That’s not true. I kept fighting for you. I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks, but you wouldn’t pick up the phone. I had to come here to see you.”

“No, Faye. You shouldn’t have. I told you everything I had to tell you.”

Faye walks closer and entwines her fingers in Freen's hair, but she quickly pulls away. But that’s not enough to stop Faye.

“Freen, come home with me. We can work this together. We always do.” She says softly.

Freen shakes her head in denial. She feels close to tears as she thinks about Becky and how betrayed she must be feeling right now.

“No, Faye, we can’t. To me it was over the moment I walked out the door. So you can go back home alone.”

“I can’t. I’m gonna be staying here for a while. Maybe Dr. Jenson can use a hand.”

“Seriously?!”

“I’m not giving up on us, Freen. Please, think about it.”

As Faye walks away, Freen is hit with a wave of panic, her only thought was to find Becky and explain everything to her. Tell her that she didn’t mean to hurt her. That it was real. Every part. Every moment.

Just as she’s walking towards the exit, she sees the brunette she so desperately wanted to talk to, walking in with Irin by her side.

As the girls see Freen on the other side of the sliding door, both of them instantly turn around and walk back outside, despite the pouring rain.

But Freen can’t let the brunette walk away like this, without talking. So she follows them outside and grabs Becky's hand to stop her.

“Becky please, let me explain.”

Irin puts herself between them as to protect Becky from her. “Right now, I’m gonna pretend that you’re not my boss and that you’re just a bitch that hurt my best friend. So you better walk away while I’m still not kicking your cheating ass.”

“It’s not like that. It’s the exact opposite. Becky please...” She tries to reach her again, but this time Becky is the one stepping in front of Irin and facing Freen.

Becky's gaze feels like a thousand cuts to Freen. She hates her. She definitely hates her.

“You want to explain?” She says trying to hold the tears. “Now you want to explain? Why not include it in the list of things I should’ve known about you! Why not tell me when I specifically told you that I needed more! And if you couldn’t give me that, then why keep playing with me?! Was it just for the sex? It was, wasn’t it?”

Freen is on the verge of crying too. This was so wrong. So wrong.

“No! Becky I was real with you, the whole time. I swear-“

“How?! How could you be real and carry this lie with you!”

She turns around and starts walking away.

“Becky!”

“Don’t follow me, Freen. I swear...I’m so done with you this time.”

As soon as Becky walked away, Freen felt her heart shatter all over again. Becky's tone was so harsh, and she was so mad. Freen had never seen her like that. She had done this to her on top of everything, and now she had lost the only thing that made her life better. Probably nothing could fix that. Not even the truth.

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