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★・・・・・・★
Dear Jamie,
You're probably wondering why I am writing you a letter, especially after what I did to you. After I left you standing in that hallway and before I went back to my office for the last time, I found all of my pictures torn up. I can only assume it was Nate because of the last conversation he had with me.
My manager said that writing down lyrics on paper rather than just on a computer might help me. For a person who quit their life and moved to the heart of London to start a completely new one, I have no idea what I'm doing. But it was about time I left Richmond. Hey, maybe that could be a lyric.
It's about time that I left Richmond, and I wish it was with you.
I miss you, Jamie. I miss you every day, every hour, every minute, every second. But it's not fair to you; it's not fair because I'm the one who left. You would never leave me. A small part of me hopes that this doesn't work out, but I don't think you would want me to not chase my dreams. That you would be happy for me.
Maybe I'm just a sickness. That's another lyric.
I'm just a sickness, and you seem to be the cure.
I am just a sickness, Jamie. I was happy; I was perfect with you in my life. I was content. Then I played that show, and I got in my head that this is what I was truly meant to do. I don't think it is. What if I just wasted us? What if this was all for nothing and all I did from this situation was leave you?
I wish I was born with concrete shoes, but I'm leaving tonight.
I don't know if that one fits; maybe I can work it in somehow. Concrete shoes. I don't think I would actually want concrete shoes. Then I wouldn't have left Ireland. I wouldn't have found you. Maybe I should have gotten concrete shoes in Richmond. Maybe then I wouldn't have left you. You and your forest green eyes.
You always said I had ocean eyes which, if I'm being honest, always reminded me of my mum. My father said her eyes used to look like sea glass. I'm glad I got to be your sea, even if it was just for a little bit of my life. Our love was an ocean, I think. Rocky, powerful, steady, and beautiful.
Love was just an ocean; I would drown before I float.
I miss you so much, Jamie. I wonder if you miss me just as much as I miss you. Probably not. I would hate me; I would hate that I let some stupid dreams get in the way of something that would probably last a lifetime. I hate that I'm the one that broke us up. I hate myself for that.
I'm sure that someday you're going to find someone else that makes you feel happier than I ever could. Loves you in a better way that means more to you. I bet you will find a girl that never abandons you to find a dream that doesn't matter. That says "I love you" back.
I bet you finally settled down with a girl who doesn't move as quick as trains that rolled through town.
That's a good one. That lyric hurts, but everything seems to hurt nowadays. You know that someone can actually die of a broken heart. I read a thing about it, missing someone so much that the person doesn't know how to function. That's how I feel. I wish there was a way you could have come with me. Could be here, sitting in a hotel room at the little desk, and writing with me.
But it doesn't work like that. You can only have so many dreams and wishes come true. I just... miss you. I will always miss you.
I think I know how the song ends now,
I finally had to face the hard times I've let go. If loving you was an ocean, I'd have drowned so you could float.
Thank you, Jamie.
Always, Ulla.
★・・・・・・★
Blu Speaks!
I know, I know, what the fuck Blu! I came here for a JAMIE TARTT fan fic. I know that! I think a lot of people like Tallulah's character, not to toot my own horn or anything. I also wanted to kinda show people that this is realistic. Some people don't stay together. That's how life works, it's messy and confusing. That's how love works.
I will now anwser questions I'm sure some of you are confused about:
Why letters?
- I wanted to do a format I haven't seen a lot expressed. It's important to me for Tallulah's character to express herself in her own way with still staying on theme with the music journey narative. I also wanted a way to share music because it's a big part of her life especially in this stage.
Time frame?
- This letter happen just after the game, probably about a week or so after. Every letter is going to be about 2-3 days apart from one another. After a little while there's going to be a change of where and kind of when she is, I'll tell you when that happens if it isn't well communicated in that chapter.
Where is Tallulah?
- Tallulah right now is in London, the heart of London. She's moved out of her apartment, she's staying at a hotel, her life is... things are diffrent now for her.
Afterhours?
- It will be revealed later.
Uploads?
- Uploads for the letters will now be monday, Wednesday, friday because of how short they are! Thank you.
I just want to take a minute and say thank you. Thank you to each and every one of you for letting me able and confident to make something of Tallulah. To let me make her story her own and for all your support. It means literally everything.
