Dark Lover

7.Bright - Alone

I quickly leave the table. I run to phi foei and inform him I need to let him handle the cafe alone today. I have an emergency.  Luckily my team are well prepared and they can run the cafe without me. I drive my new suv to my home.  Once I arrived, again I run. I need to calm down. After make sure i lock all the door, I finally sit on my bed. I can see how I am shaking.  I am afraid and angry at the same time.

Why, I cant stop asking myself. I have a perfect life now. Why he suddenly appeared.  I am so angry with myself.  After one year I still respond like 5 years ago. I promise to be strong. No I am strong. For the first time after that unfortunate relation start,  I contradict his instructions.  Suddenly I felt proud and even smiling. I can see how his face turn black when I said I rather die than back to him. Its such a satisfaction after being his obediant dark lover for years.  I know he spoiled me the most before but that not what I want. I want to be my own self. I want to provide for myself.  I dont want to be his sleep partner only, i want to be more than that. Its not my fault when he become pervert when he see me. I cant control his need but right now, I want to have the right to say no. I want to own myself.  I know this is the starter.  I live with him long enough. I can feel how he want to drag me out of my cafe but he hold himself.  Just today. I promise I will be stronger tomorrow. I am just too shocked today. I promise.

I drive carefully to my cafe. I cant help but look around felt anxious if I see any luxury car. I quickly run to my cafe. Today, we need to supply the pastries to win company. Is everyone ready phi, I ask when everyone look at me worriedly.  Are you okay boss, phi foei ask me. I nod and try to act like usual. Lets go I said. I look at the cafe van. We need this van to make delivery for our order. Honestly I used phi Mile money. I dont know why he keep sending me money. I mean I used the money he give previously. Not after I left him. Actually I promise myself to not touch that fund after leaving but I really desprate and try hard to return it back.
I make sure my staff look tidy and clean. For me that the most important in handling food. I make sure we change our apron everyday. I got this idea from my previous visit while travelling with phi mile. Stop it bright. You shouldn't think about him. But honestly even i try hard to forget phi mile, its really hard because he appeared at the age of me turn from teenagers to adult. I know my 18 years old will never same with other normal 18 years old teenagers.  That why he play a big role in my life. He make sure I finish my study even my student life definitely differ from other student. I know he plan to make me one of his team in office. I cant imagine how will I survive handling him at office and his penthouse.  Luckily he get engaged. Is it real luck, I still hurt because of that until today.

Now I roll my eyes when I see metawin waiting for me at the staff cafe. Beside phi mile, I have another copy of him. But the difference is, metawin push me gently compare to phi mile. Win can be consider as friend now. I make sure he is in his border. But at the same time I cant reject him completely. I know he just being gentle with me. I can see how all his staff look nervous when he is around. I have been with the richest man. I know how they behave. So I need to be alert all the time. I let my staff transfer the pastries and walk to win who are holding a cup of coffee.  I know your coffee are better, but this is my sincerity he said . Just shake my head and accept the cup. I sit at one of the table while waiting for my staff. Can we have a lunch today, win ask and sit infront of me. No, I reply to him. How about dinner, its been a years. I still felt guilty. Can we win ask me a bit serious this time.  I look at his eyes. I try to find lies. I am sorry, but today we received another big order. I really cant I said. I am not lying.  We have big order today. Now my staff are working hard. We need to go back as soon as posible and help them. How about tomorrow night, win ask me again. Please ,he said with calm face before I refuse. Is it okay of we eat at my cafe area. I dont want to eat at your fine dining restaurant, I said. I know he will reject my request. Okay, deal win said quickly.  I mean we will maybe eat at the stall or fast food restaurant I explain clearly to win. I know, I don't mind win said. I look at him and finaly agreed. Tomorrow , 8 pm I said and quickly walk to my staff who are waiting.  Ok , see you later win said with a big smile. Boss, are Mr win try to court you, my busy body part timer ask excitedly.  I dont know why he always interested with my love life. I am not celebrity you know, stop gossip about my love life I said and hit his back. Now all of them laughing.  But he look at you dearly. Like how my kitten look when he see his food , he said again with sulky tone. I know what he mean, but I already decide how I want to live. I want to be alone.