Dark Lover

9.Bright - Nothing will change

This is so annoying. My staff just look at me and smile. Phi I never received flowers all my life tine said. You can have it if you want I said. Phi, how could you say that, I still have my pride he said dramaticly.  That make my team who are now preparing to end the business for the day laugh.  I just come back from dinner with metawin. I am sorry but I hate to receive any flowers from strangers. It wasteful.  How could you send flower  without telling who you are. So the best place for orphan flower are dustbin. 
Phi foei just shake his head when I return to cafe after throwing the flower for the day. I am really tired today. Luckily metawin behave nicely.  We just have simple dinner and talk about everything.  It's help me a lot, because I am preparing myself for his flirt. I must be over thinking. He just want to have a dinner with me.

I am late today because I bake at my home. I want to send fresh bread to nearest orphanage. Its really annoying when I keep thinking of phi mile. He won't take order from my staff. He probably just leave without breakfast.  He is busy man who love to skip his meal. I drive as fast as I could.  Luckily he still there. I cant help but scold him. But that scary guy just reply no leasurely.  I try to be as mean as I could. I make him dream black coffee for months now. I know he dont even drink coffee before. I finally take my tumbler and lunch box. Phi foei look at me weirdly.  He dont drink coffee and eat sweet I said. Really but he choose the sweetest dessert for months now he reply. I felt really guilty.  I hate how he look so happy. This does not mean I start accepting him. I just want to be kind. I will be kind even to a street cat, I said to myself.

I know we receive so many order more than before because of phi mile. But luckily the order are reasonable.  I still angry when multimillionaire company order from small cafe to handle their event. Not once but a few of them. How they expect small cafe like us to operate. We definitely can't do that. How long will he act like this.  Its been months. He should give up now. I wont change my freedom for anything . Furthermore,  I dont wabt to have a relation with someone else husband or fiance. No, I refuse to be 3rd party.  That the line that I will never cross. Will he stop when he get married.  I touch my hurt heart. It's really hurt.  He never look me as a person. He look for me for his sexual need. I wont be his sugar baby again. I wont be his dark lover. He can choose anyone he want, it's still a mystery why he choose poor guy like me. Is it because of my visual. No, he can find thousands people who are more beautiful and handsome. I already buried the feeling that grow inside me since 5 years ago . My heart already die for him when he hide me for along time and then get engaged.  What make me sad the most is, he never told me about his plan. Its mean, I have no value in his life. I will always be his dark lover and his dark secret.

Phi, tine greet me happily like always. I just smile and nod at him. Phi, why  your lover are not here today, he ask me. After months he finally stop. I look at the table he used everyday.  I dont know I said. I try to look calm but my heart are worry.  I just chuckle on my stupid self and start baking. I need to divert my attention. The day become dull. Like always we enjoy working together, but I felt not complete. I look at my lunch box and tumbler.
Bai, do you have his number, dont you think you should call him, phi foei ask. I look at him and ask why. Its weird, he never miss having breakfast here. May be something happen to him, phi foei said. That make me look at him. I mean he may be sick or involved in any accident,  I am sorry but I am a bit worry, phi foei said. I can understand why phi foei worry.  He have been here everyday last 6 or 7 months.
Even he dont talk to anyone,  he start looking relax with my staff. He start smiling and nodding to them.

I cant believe I am at phi mile penthouse door again. He dont answer and reply to me. After talking to phi foe i am getting worrier.  I come as a cafe owner.  I come to visit my customer. I ring the bell but don't receive any response. I cant be patient anymore. I nervously try to open the door with previous password. I am sure he already change it the day I leave the house so i just try my luck. I slowly push the door. But I am to scare to get inside. I dont want to charged as trespassing. Just take a look and leave I said. Phi, I call him . Maybe he is not here. Maybe he is with his fiance. That make me turn blue. I must be stupid. How could I forgot about his fiance. Maybe today they are getting married. I cant help but curse myself. I quickly turn around and try to leave as fast as I could.  But I was so shocked and fell on my bumb when phi mile standing  in front of the door quietly. He look fine. Are you okay, I don't mean to hurt you, I just want to tease he ask worrily.  I quickly push his hand. I try to run but phi mile have other plan. He hug me tight. I miss you, I miss you so much he said. Leave me alone, I said and push him hard. Since you are okay, I will leave now, I said. I am here because I am worry of my customers, Nothing will change I said firmly.