Buddie- Oneshots

Newfound Understandings

Ok so obviously I had to write another fic. It's my due diligence as a 9-1-1 fan and Buddie Stan to give everyone content until this next episode comes out.

This takes place during episode 5 season 7. (IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED YET THIS CHAPTER HAS MASSIVE SPOILERS)

(YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

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The door to his apartment clicks shut. Footsteps down the hallway a car rumbling in the distance. Then nothing. The place is eerily quiet as if the entire building is waiting as Buck stands in the exact same spot stock still. He doesn't know what to do or how to proceed so he kinda just stands there trying to reboot his brain from its currently offline state.

He forces himself to take a deep breath as the reality of the past 5 minutes and today's events come crashing down around him.

Holy Fuck.

Tommy kissed him.

And Buck liked it.

He honestly doesn't know what to do with that information. He has always prided himself on his fluidity in preference for partners and had always known that being queer was a possibility. He just never really acted on it or acknowledged it. Fewer guys struck Buck's fancy than girls plus girls were easier so he never really gave it much thought. And maybe just maybe what guys did strike Buck's fancy were currently in a relationship and swore up and down he was straight.

Now he had kissed a guy and it was all confirmed like a gavel in a courtroom documenting his sexuality. In hindsight it made sense. Buck came into contact with hot competent men through work all the time so he wasn't oblivious to their charm. He had even met a few queers ones. He just never decided to take that leap and figure it out for himself.

But Tommy kissed him.

Turns out kissing dudes is just as enjoyable as girls and Buck had been missing out simply because he was scared.

Another deep breath.

Ok.

Ok

"You have a date with Tommy on Saturday," Buck says out loud to himself testing how he feels about the simple fact.

Breaking out into a grin and chuckling at the absurdity of the situation, "I have a date with Tommy."

Suddenly as if the Universe has it out for him - his phone rings.

Eddie <3 Calling...

Buck's breath hitches. It's not that he doesn't want to tell Eddie. Actually, it's all he's thought about since it happened a mere 3 minutes ago. All he wants to do is run to his best friend and tell him. The issue is it's going to hurt seeing Eddie happy for him. Because of course, Eddie will be happy for him.

He's great.

That's the problem he's too great. He's great and supportive and not going to be jealous the way Buck so desperately wishes he was. So instead of fixating on the kiss with this new hot person in his life all he can think about is Eddie and how he's going to react. 'It should have been him,' a voice from inside the depth of Buck's brain unhelpfully supplies him.

Shaking himself out of his spiral, Buck walks over to the counter and picks up the phone. Not wanting to let Eddie go to voicemail Buck takes a deep breath and answers it.

"Hey, Eds."

"Hey, Buck you ok? Did Tommy come over and talk to you? We were both really worried about you. I'm really sorry Buck I got caught up with him and I didn't realize you were feeling left out until too late. Please forgive me," Eddie rushes out before Buck can even begin to apologize for his obtuse and rude behavior.

"Eddie, it is me who should be apologizing. I didn't realize I was so jealous until it was too late and you were on the ground. It was stupid and wildly immature. I acted extremely childish and am deeply sorry. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. It's all my fault," Buck pleads to Eddie carefully sidestepping the Tommy question.

"It's really not all your fault Buck. How about this let's just promise to talk about it in the future when anyone is feeling left out ok? You're my best friend Buck and nothing is ever going to change that," Eddie settles.

"Ok, deal." Buck replies

"And hey Eds?"

"Yeah?" Eddie says the sheets rustling signaling his getting to bed.

"You're my best friend too," Buck responds hoping Eddie can't hear him teetering on the edge through the phone.

Buck can feel Eddie's content sigh and grin over the phone. He knows because he has a similar one all over his face.

It's amazing how many nights of his end with Eddie and him sitting in content silence just soft smiles on their faces. Most of the time they're at the Eddie's but other nights the rare ones that Buck spends the night at his own apartment are often spent on the phone with Eddie anyway going over the details of the day and any crazy calls they went on or Buck's personal favorite whatever Chris has going on.

Realistically Buck knows. He knows that Eddie and his relationship is not as platonic as they try to convince people it is. He knows that Hen doesn't spend almost every waking moment with Chimney and JeYun making sure they have everything they need. He knows that Chimney can't help Hen with the grocery list over the phone because he knows her house better than his own. He knows all the looks everyone shoots him while they're in public or even in private with just their friends. He knows. Unfortunately, he's just too cowardly to do anything about it.

Eddie deserves to be happy. Chris deserves to have a mom. Even though the idea that Eddie will eventually get married to a nice girl and give Chris everything he needs makes Buck want to curl into a ball and never let go.

Eddie has made it apparent that Buck is not going anywhere in his or Chris's life. Despite what his inner voice seems to think Buck most of the time believes him.

But he needs to move through these feelings for Eddie.

Tommy is a great guy and Buck is genuinely attracted to him (if his body's reaction to the kiss had anything to say about it). So he is going to get over Eddie and let himself be who needs to be with Tommy even if he's not what Buck has longed for years.

"Good Night Buck," Eddie says drowsily over the phone.

"Good Night Eddie," Buck whispers into the phone hanging up knowing Eddie is already fast asleep from the day.

Buck trudges up the stairs getting into bed. As he lays there and recounts the kiss he finds a smile forming. He did it. He kissed a guy today. And Saturday he's got a date.