By Your Side (Twenty One Pilots)

Prepared for Heartbreak

"You ready?"

Josh looked down at the floor around him. His duffle bag and backpack were at his feet, along with two pillows, two blankets, a sleeping bag, a cooler, and his laptop bag. Tyler had a similar load surrounding him. They had both packed and repacked, trying to save as much space as possible while still keeping what they needed around. They had spent solid week just on making sure they had everything they would need. They made checklist after checklist of what could happen and what would happen and what to do when something happened. They had hidden various stacks of money within the bags and throughout the car and made sure each of them had memorized where they were. They had even developed a series of secret hand motions and signals for when they needed to communicate silently. All the parents and siblings knew of their plan, as well as a few friends they would be staying with along the way. Their plan was so air tight, that if they happened to go off the road and end up in the water, both knew exactly how to get out of the car and where to reach to grab the most valuable and life-saving things. They were so prepared, they could lead both a boy scout troop, a girl scout troop, and all the high maintenance and worrisome parents into the woods for two weeks and come out healthier and better off than when they went in.

Josh nodded. "You betcha."

It took only twenty minutes to pack the car. They had planned out where everything should go: the blankets and pillows in the back to provide a pre-made sleeping space for the nights where they couldn't find or afford a hotel, duffle bags, backpacks, and other bags of the sort under the folded down seats for easy access if needed, cooler and snack bag at the feet of the passenger side seat, phones and wallets in the center console, along with chargers and batteries, and the various stashes of money.

Josh started the car as soon as both he and Tyler had climbed in and gotten settled. He had never really liked driving that much. It wasn't a bad thing to him, just something he never saw the need for. He liked his family and loved hanging around his house when he was growing up, and all the paces he ever needed to go were within walking distance. When he first got his license, he never used it. He had never needed to be free before. But now, however, it felt like he was sixteen again. Like his mom had just handed him her keys to her old car and was letting him go out on his own. It felt liberating.

He turned to ace Tyler with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face, but it melted away when he saw Tyler's expression.

"You alright there?"

Tyler continued staring coldly at the parking lot in front of him. It suddenly clicked inside Josh's head.

"This isn't running away. This is adventuring. You're not doing anything wrong," he reassured him. Josh reached out and grabbed Tyler's cold hand, holding it in his own. Tyler jumped at the contact and looked into Josh's eyes. "You're with me, now. We're doing this together."

Tyler's face eventually softened and he smiled back at his best friend. Josh ginned even more and gave Tyler's hand a small squeeze before turning back to the wheel and pulling out of the parking spot.

As Josh drove, Tyler's other hand reached out and grabbed ahold of the one Josh had just held. He absentmindedly ran his fingers over every crease and fold on his hand. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander back to a time when someone had held his hand with that much love before. Back when he had loved someone with all he could give. Back when the light didn't shine in his room or in his thoughts. Back when he was broken and beaten and bleeding with love. Back when he was just a kid.

Her name had been Lily. She had been Tyler's neighbor and his entire world. They were inseparable. They were in love. They were dreams and fantasies and fairytales and everything wonderful in a nineteen year olds life.

Keyword: were.

Tyler didn't think about her too much anymore. Only when he was lonely or longing. When he was reminded that the tape he had patched himself up with wasn't as strong as he had originally thought.

"Huh?" Tyler asked

"I said, would you like to put on some music? The road sound sometimes puts me to sleep," Josh repeated.

"Oh, yeah. Sure," Tyler replied. He fiddled with the wires before music started flowing through the air. His hand were shaking again.

"I love this song," Josh smiled, nodded his head along to the beat and humming his own harmony.

"Me too," Tyler whispered. He let the beat drown out his thoughts and focused on the shapes the early morning clouds were making and the way the snow fell on the road as they zoomed by.

By the time the stopped to switch drivers, his hands had grown steady.