By Your Side (Twenty One Pilots)

Cleaning Trees

Josh was confused.

Last night had been hard on him. He felt it something his chest every time Tyler's eyes met his. His stomach did backflips when they hugged. Last night when Tyler grabbed his hand Josh felt like he was going to melt. the last time he felt like this was Debby, but Tyler wasn't Debby. Tyler was Tyler and Tyler was Josh's best friend.

But Debby had been your best friend at one point, too, before you started dating her.

But Josh didn't want to date Tyler. He wanted to go on adventures with him and take pictures together and cloud gaze on mountain trails and share their secrets and their thoughts and their worries. Josh wanted to share every meal with Tyler and go shopping with Tyler. He wanted to buy a house with him and live with his best friend and wake up next to Tyler every morning.

No. He didn't want to date Tyler. He wanted to spend his life with him.

Josh shook off the thought. He didn't love Tyler. Yes, he cared for him immensely and wanted to do whatever he could to keep him happy and make the rest of life easier for him and never leave his side, but Josh didn't love Tyler. He couldn't.

"Good morning," Tyler mumbled as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Good morning," Josh replied. He was already working on making some makeshift tacos for the two of them, having abandoned their car-bed when the sun came up. Josh was always an early riser when something bothered him.

Josh handed Tyler a taco, or at least, that's what Josh was calling it. Beef jerky, leftover cheese from nachos the other night, some eggs Josh scrambled in their tea cup and hot plate, all wrapped up in a slightly stale tortilla. Tyler smiled and gave his thanks. It surprisingly didn't make him sick.

The plan for the day was to cross the state line into Nebraska and look for a laundromat and maybe rent a motel room for one night so they could take advantage of a hot shower. Deodorant wasn't quite cutting it anymore.

Before they drove off they decided their time was well spent getting dirtier first before getting cleaned off, so a walk through the woods was of course a perfect idea. The two loved wandering through the trees and imagining what it would be like to be a brid. Flying through the sky, merely an observer to the land below. Carfree with little predators. Simple thoughts. Simple mind. What Tyler would give to be a bird. He loved trees. Well, he mostly loved climbing them. Josh wasn't a big fan of heights, but there was the occasional time he would follow Tyler up a tree and sit beside him. He normally did it in the mornings, when the two could enjoy the sunrise together. Josh had decided a few days ago that when he bought his own house the backyard would have an extra tall tree so he could climb it with Tyler and watch the world wake up around them.

There weren't any trees Tyler was dying to climb so the two ran around on the ground, kicking piles of leaves and tripping on their own feet. Josh was breathing hard, running after Tyler trying to tag him. It wasn't an official game but it made them feel like children again. Carefree and happy. Genuinely happy. this is what their trip was all about. Finding themselves and building their friendship. Having adventures, meeting new people, trying new things, and having fun. Glitter decorations and Christmas cookies were fun and all, but the monotonous cycle of living in one city, the same city, and going to the same job and watching the same shows and seeing the same people had been wearing the pair down. They weren't travelling so much as they were refueling their inner being. They were finally living, and finally loving.

They returned to the car a few hours later. They were a bit behind schedule but it was all worth the fun in the end. Plus, a schedule didn't matter Tyler decided. Josh agreed. Life may revolve around time, but they didn't have to. This was their own life and they could take it at whatever speed they wanted. One laugh and one step at a time.

Nebraska wasn't much different. Rolling plains and hills every now and then. Open sky. Pretty much what they left behind in Ohio. But the boys needed a real bed for at least one night and they desperately needed a shower. They drove until they came to one of the larger cities still close to the Iowa border. It looked good enough to stop and refuel.

The motel they found was small but it was also impeccably clean. The boys were very impressed.

After they showered and threw their clothes into the onsite laundromat Josh laid down on the bed to try and stretch out his back while Tyler wanted to go roam around the city.

"I just want to stretch my legs and explore a bit. You can come with me if you want," he had said.

"Nah, I gotta pop my back. And plus my feet hurt for some reason."

"Alright, man. I'll bring back some food."